Hi everyone,
So 6 months ago I sold my house and moved 4 hours away from my kids father, he used to have them every second weekend but I now take them up sometimes every third week but at latest once a month for a Thursday, Friday and Saturday night and then pick them up on a Sunday.
I was working 12 hour days in Sydney and then doing 2 hours travel so 14 hour days and the days were never the same days, which I found hard to put my kids in afternoon activities and felt like we were all struggling. I had a bit of help from my mum and dad but if my ex decided he couldn't have the kids then it was my issue. Now we have moved I've got myself a job 5 minutes from where we live, great hours too! 10am-6pm and do about 20-30 hours a week so I can spend so much more time with them! Bought a new house with a small mortgage so less stress and so much more time with the kids.
I have 2 daughters 9 and 10 and where I thought my oldest would be the one that would struggle with the move the most it is actually my youngest who is struggling.
Her behaviour is getting so out of control.... She says to me daily she knows I don't love her that I hate her, that she wants to live with her dad but she goes there for the weekend and then misbehaves there and tells her dad she hates him.
I tell her I do love her I just don't like the way she behaves lately that it makes me so sad.
Today I was nearly crying she made me so upset and she pointed at me and laughed and said ha ha you are going to cry! Last night she said you aren't even my mum as we don't even have the same last name (she has her dads surname and I never married him) I feel like she plays these manipulativ mind games and I am at a point of thinking do I send her to live with her dad to see its not all fun and games at his?? He works like 80 hours a week so she won't even be able to be with him like she thinks... She will have to be with his partner the majority of the time.
I guess I'm just trying to see is this a bad thing to do as a mum? I want her to see someone to talk about her behaviour, also so she can talk about how she is feeling and the best ways for her to deal with her emotion.. I guess I'm just scared she will go and not want to come back and she just continues to spiral with her behaviour
Sending daughter to live with father
Sending daughter to live with father
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt
2 Replies
I wouldn't even consider the change until she has started seeing a child psychologist. I think she will end up worse off at her dads as it will just be 'proof' to her that 'you don't love her'.
My first port of call would be GP then psychologist and reassess in 6 months.
I'm all for kids spending time with there dad but in this case it I'll just make things worse for her and you in the long run.
Don't change anything. Take the steps to get her some help to deal with how she's feeling. She's manipulating you, maybe she needs to see how sad it makes you when she treats you so badly. I share care my kids and there are times where they push me well beyond my limits and I let them see. It gives them a BIG reality check. They need to understand that you hurt too, just because you're the mum doesn't mean that you don't have feelings that can be hurt or damaged. Hang in there, your love for each other will prevail. Good luck.