Hi Kelly can you post this please
Hi IMs I am feeling very frustrated at the moment about my MIL. I am now at a point where I don't think I can move past things.
In February my partner and his brother got into an argument to the point it became physical. I had to jump in as the BIL was choking my partner and he was yelling he couldn't breathe. Things escalated quickly from there. The BIL threatened to punch my 2 month old and ended up punching me as I used colourful words towards him. I never touched him but it ended up with me being closed fist punched to the face and knocked out. The neighbours called the police and now there is an interim order until it goes to court in September.
The BIL has had no remorse for his actions and is claiming self defence and crying poor me. All of my partners side of the family hasn't heard the story from our side. The MIL is such an instigator to the poor me situation. All she cares about is having her boys be friends again and it's all about how I have put an AVO on the BIL.
She gave support at the start but has slowly started blaming me for the whole thing. She is now constantly putting things up on Facebook that should be private. She drinks every night and then sits on Facebook seeking out attention. I am at my wits end with her. Only my mum, dad and sister know about the incident as it's rather private, except now she has painted a picture to all her friends on Facebook that I am keeping them all apart and her poor son has spent $24K on a lawyer which could have been a house deposit. So now I am the blame for his debt too! I don't understand why they see me as the one who has done wrong. My partner supports me all the way but at the end of the day he said he will love his mum no matter what. How can I get the respect I need from her. How can they not understand I am the one who was hurt and because of his actions they direct the blame onto me.
Last night I got to the point where I sent her a message saying I don't want to see her anymore and she won't be seeing the kids. I mentioned my partner is old enough to make his own choice regarding seeing or speaking to her.
I don't know how to move past this. It's made me feel like anything I do is wrong.
Any words of wisdom and advice would be great. Sorry for it being long and if it is confusing.
I am also seeing a councillor fortnightly since the incident but also been having heaps of anxiety attacks again.
Thanks
7 Replies
My mil can sometimes be a monster inlaw aswell. Since the last blow up i try not to talk to her about anything i depth. My husbamd understands she wrecked the relationship and iam very weary of her. If the posts on fb ect cause too much anxiety just block her. Realisticly everything will get sorted out at court. The bil should never threaten to hit a child and never should have laid a finger on you or your partner.
Omg that is awful! My mother in law is a monster but yours is probably worse. Your priority is to keep yourself and your child safe. I would not trust her at all around my children if she is excusing that type of behaviour. Set up some boundaries - and don't feel guilty about cutting this toxic person from your life.
Honestly unfriend and block on Facebook and don't have anything to do with any of them.
It really doesn't matter what some psycho family thinks of you. Because let's face it, they sound loopy! Nobody has a 24k legal debt for a violence order.
Ask your hubby not to tell you what she says about you anymore as you don't want to know. Its now his job wether he wants a relationship but he is not to involve you.
Done! :-)
Scheduled for 5pm tomorrow (Monday) and I hope it helps!! x
#boganproblems
Bogan response
What is it with mother in laws??
She sounds like a nightmare..exactly like my mother in law.
She wont change, no matter what you do or say. If you are nice, she will be meaner. If you stand up to her, she will cry poor me...
I cut off all contact with my MIL 18months ago (blocked her on fb too) so I never have to listen to her toxic drama.
Life is peaceful!!!
My hubby still keeps in contact, and our kids talk to her over the phone. Thankfully we moved states so we dont have to see her.
How you handle the situation is totally up to you, but I think if people cant bring anything positive to your life, they shouldnt ne in it!!
Your little family and happiness is your priority.
Good luck x