Hi everyone,
My 2 eldest children and I moved away from their father (after he was violent towards me and unfaithful) We now live interstate. We have been through mediation and it was agreed to that the children 4yr & 6yr would FaceTime their dad twice a week.
Now that isn't the problem. The problem is the kids no longer want to. When I say it's time to call they both say things like:
"We don't want to" "can you say we are asleep?" "Can we do it later?!"
I've asked them why and they've said hey have nothing to talk about, it's boring or that Dad just growls and fights. I will admit their dad isn't great with it and he tries to get his gf to help with convo but it's just making the kids hate talking to him.
Do I simply not let the kids talk, I don't want to force them. But when the dad turns around and says "this is my only form of contact" how do I say nicely... They just are over it without causing more fights.
Sorry if this is confusing. I want my kids to talk to their dad but not if its going to make them dislike him.
4 Replies
Cover your butt and get legal advice from a women's legal service. Dont do anything that would put the current custody arrangements in jeapordy.
I think its normal. Its a hard way for kids to communicate, theyre more interested in whats physically happening in frontof them.
I would just call and whhen hes on the line get them to say hi and tell him one thing and say bye.
You could reward them for knowing one new thing about dad, which would make them ask questions.
You could remind him that he has other forms, he can post things, letters, cards, photos. I would keep up the calls if he is trying, good on him for that much. It is hard if thats all he has (not at all overlooking that hes in this position because of himself)
im having a similar problem with my kids, my husband unexpectally walked out 12 mnths ago and moved to be with another women who was my friends he rings twice a week but kids arnt interested in talking to, yet i get blamed for it.... i bribed them once to talk and i shoudnt have to do it,if your kids dont want to talk i wouldnt force them maybe let them write a letter and send it to him with some pictures they have drawn
best of luck
Thank you. Yes, I use to bribe. Then I realised that was not smart. I now tell them to politely say "can I not Facetime anymore tonight .." And then give an honest reason. I hope it improves with age but I'm nervous it will go in the opposite direction