Hi ladies. I am in desperate need of some advice. I'm 31 and I've been in a relationship for the last year and a half with my high school sweetheart. We were both previously married yet i am not divorced plus i have an 8yr old child.
my problem is my partner and child at times dont get along. This is the first relationship he has been in where the partner has a child. He has very, very little patience and is easily frustrated by my childs behavior. She is quite defiant at times and hardly ever listens to him when asked to do something. Eg..brush your teeth etc. Even i have a difficult time getting her to listen and do what she is told. Last night he finally had "had enough" and lost his shit. Yelled, threw his phone at the door which did hit my child and stormed out of the house. He later came home but did not sleep in our bed and when we got up this morning we barely spoke 10 words to each other. He says he doesnt know what to do or what happens from here, whether we stay together or not. And to be honest im not sure how i feel either.
Should i try to fix this problem within our "family" or not. I desperately want harmony in my house but not sure if or how to achieve this. I love both of them but i feel torn as im the one in the middle.
Please help
How do i keep everyone happy
How do i keep everyone happy
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Parenthood Guilt
3 Replies
He needs to be out of the house! That is totally unacceptable from an adult no matter how badly your child behaves.
You absolutely need to protect your child.
Your partner is not coping. If he is ever going to return to the home he needs some help to manage his anger first. You all need some help to define your roles within the family. I do feel sorry for step parents because I think generally they are given too much responsibility with our kids.
Your child comes first in any relationship.
Not long after my partner and I got together my son was being naughty and he smacked him, i was outide saying goodbye to a friend, when I came in i instantly knew by the way he was crying that something was up so i asked my partner what had happened, he said he had told my son off (4 at the time). When I asked my son he told me that he had been smacked on the bum. I'm a smacker but only i do the smacking and the fact he denied it? I questioned the relationship right there and then.
We are still together in the best relationship either of us have had and im glad I stuck it out.
You need to sit down and make some boundaries and VERY clear lines together so everyone knows where they stand. Your partners behaviour isn't right and he obviously isn't coping. You may need to crack down on your daughter too, if she isn't listening to you or your partner she should go straight to her room, i know 8 year Olds are tough work but there should be no excuses for crappy behaviour like that - i dont accept it in my house therefore we barely have an issue with it. Nip it in the butt as soon as it happens.
Same with your partner. His crappy behaviour is not acceptable in your house. Make sure he knows this.
Sit down. Family meeting. Family counseling and some counseling for your daughter alone too.
Goodluck mumma, if this is a relationship you can 100% see going somewhere very long term for all of you then please stick it out if he's willing. It could be so worth it, people make mistakes and this isn't a life he's used to living, help him out xx