Hi IM's
It's my daughters 2nd birthday next month, not planning a party, just family over for some food and cake. My question is.. Should I be inviting her "father". We separated when she was almost 6 months, he was using ice and has been on and off of it ever since. I take her to see him and his parents almost every week, it's an hour drive.. And he rarely makes the effort to come here and see her ( maybe once every 2 months). They don't have a great connection purely because he doesn't put in much time with her, his parents are great though which is why I continue to take her there.
I feel like saying to him "if you want to do something for her birthday then you can organise it and I will bring her there so your family can celebrate with her" but not invite them to my house for my family thing.
Am I being too harsh? Should I just invite him, knowing it will be awkward because my family doesn't like him for what he has done to us.
2 Replies
Don't invite him. He can do his own separate celebration with his family for your next visit.
Don't create a precedent for an ice user to be in your home.
If he wasn't on ice and you both can put your differences aside for a birthday party then fantastic. But he is on Ice and he needs to start standing on his own two feet as far as his child is concerned and you never invite a ice user into your home.
Agree, invite his parents if you want a family party and think he will behave for the time, or just do a separate one at their place. Its not imperative that hes there. I know we guilt ourselves so much, but think of all the children with close family who cant attend due to shift work, deployment etc etc, its ok, the children will be ok. the relationship is more important and unfortunately noone can do that but him.