Just wondering if there is anyone else out there in or was in an emotionally abusive relationship and what your coping mechanisms are?
I have been with my husband for 10years and have recently admitted that my husband is very emotionally abusive towards me. I had a baby girl 8 months ago and I think she has given me the strength to admit his treatment isn't right and to stand up for myself. His main traits are emotionally distant and unavailable, withholds affection, sex on his terms only, shows no empathy or compassion towards me, disengages to punish me, accuses me of being too sensitive or depressed, often criticises my actions and never provides positive reassurance.
I recently started seeing a counsellor which is helping a great deal. I would love to hear from others who have also gone through this.
Emotional abuse...how do you cope?
Emotional abuse...how do you cope?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Behaviour
5 Replies
The only way I coped was leaving. Staying wasn't coping, it was breaking me down, wearing me down until nothing was left. Unless you are made of Teflon there is no way to stay and not continue to be danaged.
I also agree that leaving was the best thing to do. I have taken control of MY life again and it's so liberating and I feel great now. Its rocky at the start but it gets better.
Oh Hun, it should not be normal for you. I'm so glad you are getting counselling. The only way I used to get away from my life and the abuse was in my head. I was constantly day dreaming, reading novels and loosing myself in them. Imagining that my life was perfect, that I was in a book world and I wasn't really living my life. 2 years and 7 months later I haven't lived in my imaginary world for 2 years and 5 months. I haven't walked around thinking I was living someone else life just to get away from the world I was in. It wasn't the healthiest world to live in but that's how I had to do it. I found that exercising a lot helped. Writing it down and then forgetting about it. But he also needs to get some counselling, he sounds like my ex. I've always assumed that he has Aspergers but had just never been diagnosed with it. I think that because both my boys have autism. I've been in a similar situation to you. I couldn't get past it. I had to get out. These days I'm in a great relationship, I've found a great match. I have finally gotten away from the life I was desperately trying to get away from. If you are wanting to fix it, there's no easy fix if you're wanting to get out I don't blame you. I've never felt so free, as I did on the day he left our house after we'd been broken up. Even though I'm in a relationship now, that sense of freedom hasn't disappeared.
YOU LEAVE!
Because the moment you wonder if you deserve better, you do!
Wow that was me 2 years ago in a 6 year emotionally abusive relationship. So glad you are seeking counselling. What i did was leave because it came down to what i was willing to put up with. And that kind of abuse breaks you, your spirit your heart and your mind. If you are strong you can withstand years of it and become numb. It also came down to understanding that my relationship was always a struggle and i was suffering a lot, i decided one day that i had suffered enough. I moved out 3 kids (1 his, she was 2 at the time) it wasnt easy but the relief was instant. 2 years later i never look back. I learnt my lesson. "Always remember that whatever you put up with you end up with"