I was with my ex bf for 8 months it was an on/off kind of relationship a couple of days ago we got into a huge fight because he was yelling at my son (not his child) and i got angry and asked him to leave he refused we both exchanged heated words to which he grabbed me by the throat my son saw this and grabbed a kitchen knife and stood in my doorway and told my ex to leave his mummy alone my ex then let go off me and went straight for my son ripping the knife out of his hand then grabbed my son around his throat and swung him around I lost it and attacked him and grabbed my kids and left immediately I went to the police and charged him
The police rang me last night and told me they have him in custody till the morning my problem is I feel like its all my fault and feel guilty is this normal??
Any advice from ppl that have been in the same situation would be great
And no I would never go back
Is it normal to feel guilty after your ex boyfriend gets arrested for assaulting you?
Is it normal to feel guilty after your ex boyfriend gets arrested for assaulting you?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Parenthood Guilt
4 Replies
Don't feel guilty! This guy is an animal and you did the right thing - protecting your child. He had to live with the consequences. Best wishes lovely xx
Yeahit seems that it is natural. I know i hated itonce police wereinvolved, it took the whole future out of our hands. I hated him for causing it but i still wished him out of legal trouble. I guess its a big reason they get away with it repeatedly partners really dont want to call police and follow through in the cold light of day.
We also manage to look back on the fight and take our own accountability, if i hadmt said this, but i did push his buttons etc etc. the fact is, there is no excuse for ehat hedid. And he is a man who lets himself to do this to women. No one off, the jnique situation, something you said, the extreme emotions you make him feel, just no.
And part of us maybe still feels love for the guy that we did before this. It doesnt disappear even when you know he cant be anywhere near you.
Keep moving forwards, focus on yourself amd your son. He does deserve this and it will help you and it will help his future partners/ victims one day.
It's a common feeling because they have spent along time blaming you for everything that goes wrong in there life, so much so, part of you believes it. Even if you know mentally that it's his own fault.
It is his fault!
What a brave little boy. I can understand feeling guilty about your ex getting in trouble. But he deserves it after he attacked you and your son. He could have killed you. Both you and your children should learn some self defence. It will empower you and teach you how to get our of a choke hold which isn't hard. You can spin around and run or you can push your arms up through the space between his arms and then push his arms outward. His grip will brake easily. Then quickly grab him arm push it down palm up. You can do many lovely things to him. Push his figures back, swing it around and pin it to his back and you can actually easily break him arm if you need to if you learn how or bend his figures back from that position as you will be behind him. Even though mostly easy to get out of choking is considered lethal force so you can do anything to any arm that's still attached to your neck. So you could push one away to distract and shock him and then break the one still attached. Pretty much do anything you think will keep you and your children safe because you gotta remember sometimes others maybe stronger then you so you might need to use more force to protect yourself. Even if you never go back with him its best to learn some defence so you know how to protect yourself from any future situation