Lost and confused

** Please do not post on Facebook **

Hi IMs. I just want to start this off by saying that I'm in a very low point in my life and have literally nowhere else to turn for advice. My life over the past 6 months has been a roller coaster of highs and great lows in so many ways. I never imagined my life would lead me here..

My children and I left an abusive relationship 6 months ago. Things started out great, I moved in with my parents and started rebuilding life for "me and my 3".

A few weeks later things went both downhill and uphill in different ways, simultaneously; my parents started treating me like a child, and by chance, I was introduced to an amazing man, who was going through a similar situation (but reversed, if that makes sense).

I decided to move out of my parents house (we had one large room with a queen bed, port a cot and single bed, small couch and tv/play area, cupboard space. Kids had to stay in that room only - no mess allowed. I couldn't talk to friends on the phone without being questioned and my mum commenting loudly in the background about how I have better things to do than be on the phone - so the person on the other end would hear and feel uncomfortable. Note, I'm 30).

My friendship with the man who had come into my life (3 weeks after I left my husband) quickly became a mutual support system. We would both vent, ask for and give advice or opinions, and we enjoyed each other's "company" (all over the phone for the first few weeks). Things developed quite quickly and I now see him as one of the best friends I've ever had. The only downfall with this friendship/relationship was that I have had to support him financially as he quite literally lost everything in his separation. Without going into too much detail, we both work but expenses always seem to be more than all income combined.
To top it off, after our friendship became known, rumours were spread by both Exs that we had actually known each other for much longer and had both cheated on our ex partners. As a result, despite proof of when we actually met (through mutual friends) and dates of conversations etc, we both lost all support from family and friends (including parents), as everyone believes us to have cheated.

Around that time, we ended up taking a step back, as pressure became too much with money, both of us now having literally no support around us, and we didn't talk for a few weeks.

I have no idea what point I'm trying to make but for the last 2 months, I've built a relationship with this man, who seems to be everything I've never had in a partner before. We've been through a lot of lows together in the short time we've known eachother but no matter what, we are there for each other and I truly care for and I have a love for him that I've never understood before. I know he cares for me and has also developed a great relationship with my children (yes, they have met him, please do not judge, I have read posts before where women have been slammed for introducing a new man "too soon" however, they met him as a friend when he helped me move homes when no one else wanted to know me. I have 100% care of my children, apart from a few hours every second Saturday, no one to watch them for me at all - my mum refuses to babysit because I have chosen this life and I should deal with it alone. Her words).

I realise this is getting quite long so thank you if you are still reading.

My dilemma is that the father of my children is now asking me to give our relationship another go. He says he has changed and in some ways he probably has. He has been seeing a counsellor since I left (I've been seeing one for 3 years now, which was initially meant to be for both of us to help the marriage but he refused to attend, accusing me of sleeping with the counsellor).

I'm torn between doing what I feel is right for my kids - working slowly towards being a family again, with their father - or staying as I am, regardless of what happens with the new man.

I literally have no one to turn to for advice.

The father of my children is already telling me to move back into the family home and he will visit every night and possibly sleep on the couch. He will take a little bit of money out of the child support he pays, as "rent". He obviously knows about the new man and he would no doubt have to be completely out of my life if we are to work things out but I'm not sure I can do that. I know it's selfish.

The new man is telling me he will support any decision I make but that he doesn't want me going back if it means I'll be living in misery all over again.

I just don't know. I hate that I have to make this decision and to make it worse, I only have 4 days to make it because my lease was only short term and I need to be out this weekend. Where do I move to? Back in with my parents? Back into the family home? Or find somewhere completely different (which I can't really afford and have been living off credit the last few weeks). And do I slowly go back to the man who once abused his family in the hope he has/will be different? He used to say he didn't respect me while we were together, he now says me leaving him has made him respect me. I don't understand how that could be possible, especially given that I 'moved on'. I'm so confused and have gotten so used to never being able to make a decision for myself in my life (controlling parents, controlling husband..) that I'm terrified of making this decision and being wrong.

Thanks in advance and sorry this is so long to read. I hope it makes at least a little bit of sense.