At what point do you just call it quits on the whole FIFO thing? We have been together almost 8 years and have a 4&2 yo. He works away Monday-Friday and is only home weekends.
I used to be fine, I used to rock it but now. Now I hate it. The money is average and there is no more holiday or sick pay etc. I'm always alone with no support or help during the week.
I just feel like I'm not coping and there is nothing I can do about it. 4yo is at kindy 5 days a fortnight - daycare is not an option as it's just out of our budget.
Everytime I bring it up with hubby he just brushes it off and says I'm doing fine.
Moving closer to my family also isn't an option in his eyes as it will be too far from where he works.
Fifo wife struggles
Fifo wife struggles
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Self Care, Kids
5 Replies
If tyoure alone all week, unless he is taking the 2 yr old one day a weekend, then you need daycare, he doesnt get to tell you you dont need it. He sems to be not even discussing decisions about the life that you are living more than he is.
I'm concerned with his dismissive attitude towards your feelings.
My husband is a special forces solider and is only home 6 months of the year if we are lucky and that's spread out.
I was ok with it at the start I quite enjoyed my independence and then we had our daughter and it changed I still put up with it but it became more and more take from his job and no support for us. Last year I had a massive brake down I was made redundant and was told I was up for a high level spinal fusion. He honestly believed I was doing fine and was just whining/sooking before I had the brake down and threatened to leave. He is now outing things in place that will change our lifestyle.
Maybe you need to have a serious make or brake conversation. You need a support network around you as he isn't here during the week. If the money is shit and no real benefits maybe it's time to look for a new job or let you move back to family. You are sacrificing everything at the moment and that's huge. It's time maybe something gives or you could end up resenting him. I'm happy to chat if you would like. Good luck
Try being an army wife to a man in the SF. He's only been home all up 2 month since March 2015. We have 3 kids aged 14 12 & 8 and have been together 16 years, I've been doing this nearly our whole relationship & FUCK it's hard! But you gotta do what u gotta do. I'm in a different state to my family (they're over 20h away) no friends at all, no help whatsoever. The kids are all doing my head in I NEVER get a break. God the way they fight I'm surprised they haven't killed each other by now ? I have totally lost all control over them, they walk all over me! This morning I got called a fuc**ing cu*t & told I was a piece of shit by my 14yo son! The pay is shocking & were on the verge of declaring bankruptcy. I've been looking for work for the last year & a half after being posted again and loosing my job but I can't find anything at all! You're NOT alone lovely. I hope you find a resolution to your shitty situation soon x
I just don't understand this FIFO epidemic that seems to be destroying so many families these days. My husband worked away at the mines for about 2 years all up (on and off) as an experience to add to his life story, but we soon found out that it's just not worth it. I roll my eyes at the excuses I hear from FIFO families justifying the reasons why they choose mining, etc...honestly, I would give ANYTHING to be with my husband every day..(we are) .I would live in a Shak in the woods. Nothing is worth losing time with your loved ones. Nothing. Earning more money just means you're spending more money. At the end of the day, it's just money. I can't believe people do this with young kids. Wtf is the point of being married? Or having a partner, if They're never around. This is not aimed at you or anyone in an effort to bring you down, I've just never understood why people put themselves through it. Just tell him no more, you're done.