Hi IMs
I'm currently going through mediation with my ex partner in regards to our two children.
The back story in short /
The day our second child turned 1, the father packed his bags out of no where and moved interstate. I didn't even know until the minute he knocked on our door and said goodbye. He didn't make contact with me for 6 months after he left. I asked him to sign his parental rights over as he didn't pay child support nor communicate with me about the kids. He soon moved back after I asked him this. We sorted out issues and got back into a routine with the children. After a while and trust was retained between him and our two LOs he had them every fortnight Friday-Sunday. He soon became inconsistent and would either pull the pin on PU day or just not show up with no communication but swore black and blue that he wanted to see the kids and started to demand more time. I decided to go through mediation for consistency more than anything, I didn't want him to have less time or more time with the kids, I just wanted him to show up when he says he would.
I went to my mediation, he went to his and before we could do a joint session, he packed his bags and moved interstate again, only this time I was aware but he didn't tell our kids (5&3yo), I had to after he had left. Now our youngest refuses to talk with him on the phone and my eldest is 'happy I don't have to go to daddy's house anymore'.
Anyway, that's a different story - He has told me dates he will be returning for a visit and we have made arrangements with our mediator to reschedule our appointment, but I've realised there isn't much point anymore if he has moved, is there? Should we do it anyway just in case he decides to move back at any point? I'm all for him seeing his children whenever he likes, I'll never take that away from him but I also don't want my kids to suffer when dad decides to come and go whenever he feels like it or to move back and forth..
Has anyone been through something similar? How did you decide to meet the middle man? We get along fine, there is absolutely no tension between us so I'm not scared I might upset the apple cart or anything, I'm just not exactly sure what to do from here on? I'm confused about the entire situation!
2 Replies
I would still attempt mediation. In the long run it will look good if he comes back and starts trying to demand more time with the kids again. Yes it's a big hassle but I think not doing it could make things harder in the long term.
Also if he ends up expecting he wants the kids to fly interstate to see him it's all sorted in mediation versus trying to sort it between yourselves.
I would still attend mediation and have things in writing as they will go through who decides for schooling medical decision etc...My ex wasn't around much and we still went and they made me a form stating that as I paid for the schooling and medical bills he would have to request his own copy. This made it clear for both parties and he only lasted another 6 visits after mediation and took off and I never heard from him again.
Mediation is not a binding contract it is more just an agreement between the two parents and having an understanding on what you would both want. I think it would be good to go and have everything in writing.