My heart broke tonight... my 7 year old son showed some really upsetting behaviour... He is and has always been a very emotional child. He is sensitive to a lot of situations. But is also happy and a smart kid. I have tried to build his resilience against situations where he says his friends wont play with him or be in his club etc. He is a very social kid and is well liked by his peers, despite his feelings of being alone. He has a certain friend who is also popular in his class and I sense that there is a struggle for dominance. My little guy has come home a few times this term saying that his friends like play with "friend A" because he is rich. I've never compared our financials to "friend A".... So I'm not sure where that came from. I told him that we shouldn't base our friendships on how much money they have but instead by how kind a person is. He has become noticeably down in the dumps and is lashing out a lot towards his little brother (5)... Examples are pinch, kicking and squeezing his arms. He does these things when he is angry or frustrated, I know its because he doesn't know how to deal with his emotions then and there ( even though I have explained he needs to breath and count to 5 or walk away). He also punches his head or bangs in on the ground, saying he is stupid, he hates himself and doesn't want to be here.... so putting all that in to the scenario I'll come back tonight where he got upset because he backchatted and I told him it was bed time... he took a knife out the knife block and pressed it against his chest... I took it out his hand straight away and asked him (calmly) why did he do that... he told me he hates himself, he doesnt want to be here. My husband got all uppity and screamed at him to go to bed. I went to his room and he was sobbing, I gave him a hug and I asked him if he feels like that often and he said yes a lot, when he is angry and sad. I asked if he feels like that at school to and he said yes. My heart is broken. My baby is 7 and he seems to be either depressed and / or cant deal with his emotions. I need to get him help and I don't know where to start... can anyone point me in the right direction that can get him help fast? My husbsnd is of the opinion hes a drama queen and needs a good smack... he needs a good smack, not my son.... I was really angry at his response because it doesn't help the situation....( now i know this so please that's not the focus of my concern right now).. I need help for my baby boy.... sorry if this is all over the place but so is my head because of this ...
5 Replies
You start with your GP, who will refer you to appropriate services. Most likely paediatrician and child psychologist.
My advice go through the private clinics as public has very long wait lists.
Poor baby, and poor Mumma. You know what's sad is that I was a child like this and my parents fobbed it off and said i was a drama queen, im just startng to find myself now with the help of my hubby and his family teaching me to really express my emotions because i wasnt allowed to at home, im lucky to even be here after the suicidle thoughts i have had as long as i can remember. You don't need to hear my life story but i really just wanted to say you have already done the right thing by noticing and you are a great mum. I would get him to a child psychologist asap xx
Your right. Your husband needs to understand saying things like that will make it worse. Your son needs to see a doctor straight away. This is not normal behaviour for one so young in my opinion. He could be suffering depression, he could have been abused or he's having early onset puberty. Because these behaviours sound like ones teens go through not a 7 year old. It could also be too much artificial colours and preservatives setting him off. Apparently it only takes a small amount a day to effect them. The doctor will be able to refer you to a specialist. Make sure your bumped up the list because of the whole knife thing. Lock up all scissors and knives. If things get serious don't be afraid to take him to the hospital. I hope it works out soon :(
Gp today!! Then follow up with all recommendations, make all the appointments you can, ped, psych etc
I've just been through this with my own son, and doubts about how serious it was, the dismissive attitude of his dad, I dragged it out too long, in the end police got involved and my son was ordered to live with his dad to protect his siblings from the trauma his emotions and actions were causing
All I can think now is I should have pushed for meds sooner, I should have booked his appointments sooner, maybe he would still be in my care
Read your post and see the contradictions, he's a happy boy but he's suicidal
He's popular but he has no friends/trouble with friendships
I'm suggesting this as gently as I can, look at things from his perspective, not yours or what you hope it to be
Omg , i could have written this myself. My husband is the same aswell. We have now found out that my son is sensitive to colours and preservatives. These are making my child depressed angry and just not happy. We have started the long road of removing these and he seems a bit better. This is just my experience, your story was just so similar i wanted to share. Use your mum instincts they are always right. Much love and hugs,you can do this x