Am I doing the right thing? First and foremost I am a mum to 3 boys aged 6,5&4. Secondly I am a teacher. Currently I teach two days a week and stay at home the remainder of the time. My husband is working his way up the ladder at work. Often he will comment that my contributions are not worth anything because I 'don't earn $100k'. Sick of being told this and desperately wanting to be seen as equal I asked the school to increase my hours which has been done on a contract by contract basis. I will now be working 4 days per week. The extra money while it's not needed to survive will be used for a family holiday. My husband has said he will not support my decision to work more as it puts my children second and I had better leave school at 3 each day to keep up with my domestic duties. I feel like I can't win. When home I get told I don't contribute, go to work more so I can contribute and get told I'm a bad mum. What's the right thing to do?
6 Replies
Give him a kick up the ass, do what YOU choose and expect him to appreciate and support you.
The right thing to do is to tell your husband he is being an ass.
Wow. I'm sorry to be quick to judge, but what an arsehole :(
You are doing a great job, what YOU want matters.
Tell him to pull his head in!
Talk to your husband about contribution. While he works his way up the ladder, where does your goals factor in? It seems to me that you take the brunt of the workload at home and that is why 2 days per week has worked well, for him anyway. These decisions needs to be made jointly. If extra money is coming in to the house and you are working extra hours, he needs to assist with childcare and domestic duties. I feel like if you sit down and have the conversation though it will be both of you butting heads.
Having children and working is a hard job and it’s a massive juggle. That is why responsibilities need to be shared equally. I don’t feel he is being fair to you at all. You are doing a great job, and need assistance if you are to increase hours.
He sounds like a dick!! My husband often says I shouldn't work as much as I do but he says it as if he feels bad that he can't be the sole provider, he has never once demanded that I stop work or finish early. You need to do what makes you happy and tell your hubby that you guys are meant to be equal, and if what you do (house duties) is not worthy then he can do it! If he still kicks up a stink about it, then personally I would work and save the extra money and do something awesome without him!