Hi ladies,
Today I am filled with shame and guilt and just want to crawl under a rock. I lost my temper with my son at the shops.
I was already suffering from anxiety and his Dad had stormed off because I was paying attention to our sons safety rather than the story he wanted to tell me leaving me alone and making my anxiety worse.
Then my son started screaming and sat down because he didn't want to hold my hand or walk with me so i pulled him up by his arm while everyone stared (which made my anxiety worse).
When I couldn't get him to stand up I swore and picked him up kind of roughly with an angry look on my face and stormed off towards the trolleys with everyone's eyes burning into my back.
I'm not normally like this with my son and have been extremely stressed lately trying to please everyone and make ends meet.
I feel horrible that in that moment nobody knew or could see how much I love my son. All the happiness we share and all the ways he lights up my life.
They just saw a mother overreacting to her son's normal behaviour and losing her temper. I am so embarrassed and feel so incredibly guilty.
6 Replies
I don't think there is a single parent who is honest who hasn't had a day like that.
It happens, yes you know it's not what you'd want to do, but we are human mummies. We have bad days.
What counts here is what you do about it. If you are getting treatment for your anxiety and depression then that's all you can do.
We ALL have parenting moments we wish we could do over.
Honestly dont sweat it!
I know the guilt you are feeling and the fact that you ARE feeling guilt shows you care and love your son, if you didnt care that would be a whole new story!
Also your son was having a tantrum, so showing him that you are the boss is not a bad thing! Fuck the people watching too, if anyone thought badly of you then either they dont have kids or they liars if they think they have never done that themselves
We have all been their one time or another. My youngest is 2 and currently chucks the biggest tanties in the shops ive had to stop taking him for the time being. Just know your not alone.
It was a bad moment. Bad moments do not make bad mothers. Try to get past the guilt and shame (trust me, I've been there) because trust me, people wouldn't be judging you as much as you think they are.
It sounds like you are trying to be all things to all people at the moment and maybe you need to find a way to decompress. If you're not being treated for the anxiety you're experiencing, then you need to look into it.
Big big hugs.
You are not alone. I can nearly guarantee that 90% of us here have done the same. We all loose our cool from time to time. It just happens unfortunately. But you know what, tomorrow is a new day, take a breath and try again. Xx
We are all here for you.
Oh lovely don't lose sleep over this ok? I work in a super market and I see some kids put on some really shitty displays of behavior for their parents most days and I never judge the parent, just feel so sorry for them and wish I could yell out words of comfort and support.
I have a 3 year old who loves putting in his worst behavior in the super market. The other day he was running around the isles and i grabbed him by the hand and bent down at his level and said in my scariest darth vader voice, when we get home you are going to the corner. OMG did he scream!!! Everyone looked at me and i just ignored them because They probably just thought my kid was being a little turd. And he was so they are welcome to think that lol.
I can garentee you 100% of parents have been in that situation at least once! :)