I gave birth two years ago and have a healthy sex life with my husband (3-4 times a week on average). Recently he told me that since giving birth it feels different down there and it puts him off having sex with me. We are actively trying for another child so it is a problem. Even though he feels this, we still do have regular sex.
Is there anything i can do? I do my pelvic floor exercises everyday, multiple times a day.
I had second degree tearing, but that has healed very well.
I dont feel any difference
8 Replies
Id speak to my GP about it. It sounds like it's in his head quite frankly!
My GP and ob say everything is completely normal down there :/
Well then I'd say hubby has some issues
If you have been checked for all the obvious things like prolapse, and your gp or nurse has checked your pelvic floor muscles then theer is nothing for you to worry about. And all of your husbands issues, which quite frankly i think hes being a total rude ass.
You pushed a baby out of your vagina,of course its going to be a bit different than before. But different doesnt mean worse..just different. Yes there is stretching and he may even feel some scar tissue bit seriously, enough to turn him off sex??? No i dont believe there is any problem with you at all and that he just needs to understand the female anatomy!
is everything else in your relationship ok?
Yes, everything is great in our relationship. He wasnt rude about it, he just mentioned it whilst we were talking about having a second child.
Ive been checked all over and all is well. Our child is 2 now so things are well and truely healed up :)
Maybe he just needs to know that babies change a woman and it's okay, those changes are your trophies for having a beautiful bundle. Also possibly ask him how it feels different and would experimenting with different positions make a difference for him. It sounds like you are communicating really well together and I hope you continue to build on your relationship. It sounds like you have a keeper, willing to talk about sometimes tough issues and trusting you to be sensitive with his needs and fears. Hug him tight tonight mumma, it sounds like you'll make it through this hiccup.
I'd be a little cut if my OH said that to me and I do have a prolapse! Feels no different to either myself or my partner down there since having children. And not enough to warrant him to say anything to me about it :) And believe me, I have asked a gazillion times because that kinda thing can make a girl paranoid. He says it's no different. The suggestion that it may be more a mental thing for your OH isn't a ludicrous one. It is actually very possible so explore every avenue with this and not just you and how you are physically. Best of luck <3
If you can keep a tampon without it falling out instantly then your fine. Its like a weight issue if weight gets mentioned they are treading on very dangerous waters after u have a baby it takes time to get back to normal and it may not go back to what your used to. Tell him you do pelvic floor exercises that maybe he could look into penis exercises as the problem may be him.