So my partner is passed out drunk and I'm just sitting here wondering where I went so wrong in my life. I'm a failure with so many debts that I can't get out of after years of paying and sacrificing. They don't get smaller but I don't know why. I love my kids so much but I can't give them what they want. What they deserve. He works so hard for us but God he is nasty when he's drunk. I honestly hate him he is so demeaning and belittling. He never does anything with the kids, hates the park school things just anything to do with them. Won't cook or clean and I never get a break away. It's not all doom and gloom but sometimes I just get so overwhelmed I wanna cut myself or overdose on pills. I need to leave but I'd rather just die. No more debts, no more pain. I just don't ever see life getting better for me, it's never been worth living not even a as child. No more doctors no more pills I just wish to cease existence. It's honestly not worth it.
Maybe I need encouraging words
Maybe I need encouraging words
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Self Care, Parenthood Guilt, Money
4 Replies
First of all, im so sorry you feel this way. I understand the feeling of hopelessness. I was there not too long ago. Heres my advice to you.
1. Go and see a financial planner. Yes it does cost money, but i would never have gotten out of the finacial crap i was in without them. After paying bills, rent etc i had $17 to buy food and i had nothing. Not even loo paper and i have a son to provide for. I saw a finacial planner the next day and was able to pay off the consult fee. There are many out there who let you do this. 6 months later i had paid off 70% of my debts.
2. Go and see a councilor. If your husband can go too, even better. If not then so be it. If he wont change that is not your fault.
Your kids need you. If their dad will not step up to the plate then they need you even more.
You said you need to leave. Go. Dont wait. If you really want to go then do it. The longer you are in that situation the harder it will be and the more you will feel like this. Your kids will be picking up on this. It is not a healthy environment for them. Pack them up with you and go.
You deserve better than this and so do your kids. There are many organisations out there to help you. Use those resources to your full advantage! I wish you all the luck and hope things improve quickly. Life is worth living. If you do something like that the pain doesnt stop. It will transfer to the people who love you.
Lifeline is also a wonderful resource. Call them. They really do help.
Good luck
100% agree with this comment
Staying unhappy because you fear you'll be unhappy somewhere else any way is not treating yourself the way you deserve. My encouraging words are to get moving, get changes happening because you definitely cannot be happy where you are. Look at the passed out slob and know who to really blame. What a sad situation to stsy in, no wonder you feel defeated. Give yourself a chance!
You aren't a failure! Sometimes we take a wrong turn here or there.
I was in the same boat to a point. My husband drank a lot, every night. He would be quite mean and not want to do anything with the kids. In the end I had to say to him enough is enough I will not have our children raised in this environment either you change or we are done.
It took a little bit but now he doesn't drink and does more for the kids.
We were overwhelmed with debt and the best thing we did was go bankrupt. We have just finished the 3 years and instantly got a loan to start getting our credit rating back.
We learnt to only spend what we had. I got a visa debit card so I could still buy online etc but it used my own money.
I understand how you feel. I felt the same way. It can get better, it may take a while but it will.
Try and get even a night to yourself. As for giving your kids what they want...well as long as you give them what they need and love you are set. I would tell my kids that we couldn't afford things, upfront and honest.
YOU are WORTH it!