How do others cope? I'm so warn out I have a 5 year old, 3.5 year old and 1.5 year old who effortlessly suck the life out of me. Put them all together it's just fights, tantrums, tears and hysteria. They can't play for longer then 5 minutes before I have to intervene as someone's doing one of the above. Now I love my kids and one thing that I was certain of was wanting to be a mother. But they're a bunch of assh^les! Never for a second did I think it would be this hard. So my eldest is in kindy and can be really helpful at times. He's a super whiner though. Super picky with food and extremely demanding. He requires constant stimulation and attention and is rarely happy despite my efforts to entertain him. There'll always be a reason for him to complain. My second is a tantrum thrower, has speech problems (attending therapy) and is overall extremely emotional about everything. Even if I actively try to do everything he wants he'll still find a reason to cry in public. Either his shoes hurt, wants a drink when nones at hand, 'can't' sit in his car seat and can only sit in his brothers one (while his brothers already seated) or his legs are tired and he wants me to carry him. (While walking 1fuc^^^ KM uphill pushing a pram, carrying my eldest boys school bag while he tantrums the whole walk as his legs hurt) Then there's my chucky doll (aka my daughter) who is extremely independent, dominant, and strong willed. She's not even 2 yet though she's constantly challenging me (yells no to whatever I say) hits me when I don't do what she wants and throws herself on the ground face down if things get too hard. Then there's me! The maniac who 'tries' to put everyone in line with the use of time outs, naughty corners and the occasional smack on the bottom. The one who's constantly cleaning the same crap everyday while my husband works from 7am to anytime after 7pm (last night it was 10:30). I feel completely on my own and I'm so stressed out I cry all the time. School drop offs, pick ups, swimming (different times for all of them) speech therapy, breakfast, lunch, dinner, groceries, washing, bath time, homework, cleaning are all on me and I feel I'm on the edge of a mental breakdown. I have family who are too involved in their own issues and if anything expect me to help them when needed so asking for help is not an option. This is what I wanted my whole life yet day to day I count down the hours to bed time. The remaining hours left that is ultimately 'me time' is spent replaying my not so perfect moments accompanied by guilt or tears. What am I doing so wrong? ?
8 Replies
It does get easier. Some of it is likely stemming from the very reason there is speech therapy. I do the replaying bit too but rather than using it to beat myself I try to look for opportunities that I could have done things differently and think about what I could have done and the next day I give it a go. And slowing and surely things do start coming together
Honestly I stopped at one!! One drove me mad! I love him to bits he's turned into a gorgeous young man, but jeez I'm Not cut out to parent multiple children.
But here are some ideas. Start doing your food shopping online. Ease the burden and it's seriously worth the $8-10 delivery fee. I find a save a bucket load of stress and time.
Drop some things. Drop swimming lessons for the 2 youngest. Start again when things settle down. Your children won't be behind for missing swimming lessons as a toddler.
Go speak to your GP and child proof your house. My son was a mega handful and was into everything. I boxed the stuff up I didn't want him to destroy for a year or two just to save both our sanity and put those magnet baby locks on cupboards.
I sent him outside to play as much as possible
only children are actually harder
Not in this case, my only child did actually need my full attention (for a bunch of medical reasons), a second child would not have had there needs met, not to mention I'm a sole parent anyway. So having more than one would have been awful for both kids and definitely not easier with one of the children in hospital for long periods of time.
Once the medical needs past though he was much much easier than multiple children. Just watching my friends and siblings juggle the needs of two kids exhausted me.
I can't offer much advice but I am in a similar position.
I have a 3 1/2 year old and he sounds exactly the same as your 3 year old aside from speech problems.
I just try to find the positive in each day. Even if it is something as successful as not burning his toast LOL
It gets extremely hard at times and sometimes I would rather sell everything I own, drop him off to his dad's and fly to another country to start a new life! But than he smiles and I fall in love all over again!
Wine, Lots and Lots of wine :P no seriously its hard I have a 9, 7 and 3 year old they drive me nuts. When they get too much i separate them all and give them different things to do. I sometimes put on a movie or send them outside to play. I know your kids are younger but it only gets easier as they get older. They will still fight but it will be easier to separate them then.
I'm a mum of 2 about to have my third so alittle way off where you are. My 4 year old and 2 year old were leaving so much mess. Toys everywhere all the time. So I brought some cupboards from bunnings for the garage. We together sorted through their toys and put them in tubs and they now live out there. We have like books and puzzles, dress ups etc inside all the time and I bring some in for the inside shelves then maybe every say 2-4 weeks I rotate the toys. Bring something else out. Or they might say can we have lego today. And we go get it and It makes tidying up so much easier and give them some responsibility over their toys. Also makes the toys exciting again as they may not have played with the doctors stuff for example for a week or 2. This may help you or may not. But it certainly made the mess and boredom over playing with their toys go away in this house!
Also reward systems for helping can be a great tool. Reward positive behaviour like packing up own toys etc!
I was reading this thinking did I write a post and forgot I did it even down to the 2 boys and a girl lol boy 1 at school constantly complaining needy, boy 2 border Line ADHD , 19month girls following in a mix of her brothers! Seriously I sit here most days thinking am I the only one who thinks that their kids are arseholes. I'm medicated went to dr broke down it has helped me deal with a lot! Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone x