I have thought that I am bisexual for some time, experimented a bit with my now ex husband and a girl a couple of times years ago, but never had the chance to be alone with a woman and explore those feelings.
A while back I joined a dating site for women as I didn't really know how to meet gay/bi women and I wanted to experiment a little seen as I was single. I didn't get much out of it so was going to delete it, but then I had a message from a local girl who seemed nice and she was really pretty, she was also a single mum like me.
So we were emailing a bit and admittedly got a bit carried away but I thought it was all harmless fun. We never met in person but were talking about it. She also asked me about my ex but I thought we were just getting to know each other.
Anyway, then yesterday she asked if I wanted to be her 'sub', and I said no, I don't have a problem with that but that's not what I'm looking for, but if she ever wanted to meet up anyway to let me know. I was starting to get a weird feeling something wasn't right but just thought it was because I didn't want that sort of a relationship being recently single and just wanting to experiment a little.
This morning I came into work (I work with my ex husband) and I had to use his computer to download and print something off because my printer isn't working. Guess what was in his downloads? Only about 10 pictures of her! So the 2 of them have been messing with me and having fun behind my back.
I feel so angry and humiliated right now! I sent her an email and told her that I hoped they were both proud of themselves, humiliating a woman who just wanted to explore her sexuality while she was single, and that she should have a bit of respect for herself and grow up. He doesn't know I know yet but I'm sure that won't take long.
Just needed to vent. I should have trusted my instinct, people are assholes :(
12 Replies
I'm so very very sorry, that's just awful and cruel what they did
That's horrible sorry it happened to you.
Are you sure it wasn't just your ex husband behind it and this woman isn't real?
(Just random pictures from the net)
Are you sure that it wasn't your ex cat fishing? Ie pretending to be the woman?
Possibly not.
try not to launch instantly.
bi chicks on such sites who are so open and forthright are usually approaching and chatting to multiple people at once.
she could even be setting the both of you up. over the years I've met some seriously NASTY pieces of work on those sites. one even told a couple of random guys to pursue me and that I liked being raped.
particularly as you work with your ex it is highly unlikely to be him instigating it, he can get screwed over a whole lot worse by tribunals than any criminal court can for pulling your chain.
the Date on the Downloads would likely say an awful lot. they would have to predate those you have seen on the woman's profile to be associated with an action by your ex husband and if they do totally drag his butt through the tribunal for sexual harassment.
the date is included in the file metadata
O.P here :). Apparently he does know her, she saw me on the site and told him, he encouraged her to get in touch with me but told her not to say she knows him as he didn't want me to 'judge' her as I don't like him very much. He reckons she didn't tell him anything but I doubt that. The photos on his computer were downloaded before she contacted me
I wouldnt buy it. Id be arranging a real life meetup if you're going to keep going with anything.
No intention of carrying on with anything after this don't worry
Phone call should be enough to make sure it is a third party and not him. It could make work very difficult without confirming if it is or isn't him. And I would use the phone call to explain that you are not happy to find that she kept it from you that she knew him.
The truth is on those sites almost everyone in a local region has at least emailed each other and exchanged photos. Its pretty standard.
O.P. here. She's definitely a real person, and he knew she was going to contact me before she did, sound like they've known each other a while
Yeah thats not unusual I had to stop using the sites entirely as much as I'd love to blame my ex its been confirmed the woman who told them I enjoy being raped did it all off her own bat. You do have to be very careful. I painted her husband top to toe in body paint by request of her and her husband the backlash was 100% her insecurities.
How do you know she's a real person?? Have you actually talked to her on the phone?? Are the pics he has of her on his computer exactly the same ones that she has on her profile for that particular site?? If you've never spoken to her or met her... I guarantee you that it is 100% him. Why on earth would he have downloaded pictures of a girl that you happen to have met randomly on a site? Even if it was his friend? Why would he have pics of her on his computer? Have you ever watched the show 'catfish'?? This is exactly what people do.
Yes she can be a real person but someone's made a profile in her name using her pics, so you're not talking to who you think you are at all.
Real life meetup is the only way to know.