Does anyone else feel like a complete failure as a parent? I find myself so exhausted and constantly yelling and being grumpy. I try my hardest to be the nice fun mum but when things need to be done and they don't listen it's so hard. I can literally tell them no 5 times and they will just keep repeating themselves. I feel like the worst mum in the world because I get so grumpy with them. It's hard having a partner who works a lot and little to no help from family. I cry every night because I have got grumpy at the kids. I never thought I would become this person. I have lost myself and am just Constantly down. Anyone have any tricks or advice to get out of this rut?
3 Replies
I would suggest
Find a Counsellor
Find a way to get a break even if it means dumping the kids on your mum occasionally
Ask for help - thats a far harder one than many people think ask for help oh hell no if I need help that means I can't manage...no that means you are asking for help
start accessing services
anglicare are great and they can give you referrals to all sorts of services you didn't know you needed they are like the most awesome living sign post on earth for parents.
we shouldn't be burning ourselves out trying to be everything to everyone. it is OK to ask for Help and it is just fine to say No to others. we only stretch so far and it is the smart thing to do to admit that.
I find its a cycle, the more you yell the more grumpy you are the more geumpy you get and the more you expext the bad things and the more you yell . I dont shout at my kids but when im in a grumpy funk i snap at them. And you know what? If you do it too much, It doesn't help anything anyway, it means less, everyone just gets used to your noise and grumpy attitude.
Youve got to have a selection of tools / responses to keep it fresh and keep them Listening.
I find it helpful when im in a funk to purposefully change my behaviour and actions first and my mood will change with it. So it sounds simple. But just dont yell. When they ask you the same thing ten times be silly, make a song, "have you lost something, i think you lost your mind, i just answered that one second ago, did you forget so soon" and laugh and do the the robot... It takes time you might still feel grumpy and over it deep down for that morning, but after a few times, your mood does change and then so does the whole vibe of the house.
This could be me! Yesterday I was broken. Today I am stronger. Last night I completed the first module of the triple p program. Give it a shot!