My 5year old daughter just asked her father about sex. Specifically she asked him
- what is sex?
- do you have sex?
- will I have sex one day?
She said that its kissing and cuddling.
As you can imagine he was a bit flabbergasted and didn't know how to respond! He did ask her where she heard about sex and her immediate reply was from school. When he asked who at school, she replied her teacher and then changed her story once more to say she heard about it on YouTube.
We are a very open family in the extent of showering together etc. and she does have screen time on YouTube watching things like dohmuch fun and the like. She had ventured into some parts which were not age appropriate and we have steered her away from this and increased the filters. (I am now never letting her on there ever again). :-)
My main concern is that this is the first time she has ever questioned us about sex and I'm wondering if it's a conincidence that she went back to school today? Side note: she only has female teachers.
I feel that she is way to young to have a discussion about sex but I fear that if I lead her to believe that it's just kissing and cuddling she will tell one of her school friends that she want to have sex with them!
Any advice on how to handle this delicate situation?
5 Replies
LOL it happens you can't avoid it once they are at school they are with kids with older siblings where it comes from is less important about how to answer her questions. it looks like its time for the birds and the bee's
explain that sex isn't just kissing and cuddling that it is how babies are made and only adults have sex because imagine if you had a baby you are still a baby yourself there is so much more to learn about the world before she gets to that stage and
this is a really good opportunity to explain that some parts of our bodies are just for us consent is a really important thing and we should always respect each other's body's we shouldn't punch pull hair hug or kiss each other unless people consent because somethings aren't nice but also some people don't like hugs and kisses or at that present point in time they don't want too and that is perfectly fine for them to not want to.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQbei5JGiT8 Consent is as simple as tea.
Ah kids get together and this happens, my four year old also just ased me where do babies come from in detail, how do they get made and get put in mumies tummies. So not ready for it! I said it starts from one tiny egg, which only confused everything more i think. Babies come from eggs?? Its ok to be caught. Do some reading on age appropriate information and language and bring it up with her again.
Is she didn't ask about sex she was going to ask about where babies came from. I was asking by about 4 and I didn't have YouTube or Internet back then.
They hear words on the street, they catch a glimpse on telly, they see animals at the zoo.
Friends at schools parents are having more babies or have older siblings. There is only so long you can pretend that sex doesn't exist.
I think as long as you are clear it's something that only adults do etc you are pretty safe. And yes as someone else said its a great time to teach protective behaviours.
If approach the school guidance counsellor and see what age appropriate books they have available.
She has her curiosity up now and wouldn't you rather she get the right information from you? She'll just keep looking and could get the wrong information from older peers or family members.
Keep it age appropriate and talk about personal safety. Better to have her prepared then in the dark.
It happens, my son started talking about it recently at 7. He thought it was cuddling in your underwear. He's now completely forgotten about it. Don't worry too much it's probably just a bigger kid talking about it at school.