This is something I have always wondered about... If you are out shopping with your child /children and one has a meltdown and you are trying to deal with them, would you rather a stranger walk on by and ignore the situation so you can handle it or would you rather the stranger stop and ask if you are ok and need any help? (even if that means just entertaining your other children until things have calmed down)
I often want to stop and help but am scared that the mums/dads would rather I didn't or fear I'm going to get abused.
Would you want help?
Have u ever stopped to help someone?
8 Replies
I've stepped in before and I've had people step in for me. An offer to carry my shopping or even just a sympathetic smile can go a long way.
Personally I would be pissed if someone tried to discipline or take charge of the situation.
A "look" made to children can sometimes be enough to herd them...
that is a help. that isnt something you need to stop to actually do. now I wouldn't want someone to actually intervene. particularly not with the severity of my youngests tantrums I have literally coped a punch in the back so hard my legs collapsed and I was left hanging from the register... stay back you WILL get hurt if you walk in blind.
where a 5yo can incapacitate a fully trained custodial officer you are entirely out of your depth.
Point being the parents KNOW what they are dealing with. it could be anything from psychosis through to an Autism meltdown. it can take 6 mths for a therapist to even build enough of a connection with a child to communicate with them effectively No stranger walking blind into a situation with unknown quantities can help. if anything herd them towards their parents using non physical cues
nothing beyond that.
if it was an adult shouting and screaming would you intervene? the only difference is the size of the person.....
chances are. the other children know what to do when these things happen and will stay together and do their thing and not respond to strangers.
My daughters were raised in public spaces because Mum had stalls at and managed local markets.
because they had attended their local markets from birth my children were as safe in the middle of a market surrounded by thousands of people as they were at home.
because they were known.
Hi, what a great question.
I've had a few times when baby is screaming and I'm struggling to push the trolley and hold her and keep toddler safe.
I have twice had people ask if they can help and push the trolley to car for me and I have been SO grateful!!!
I personally would feel weird if they asked to help with kids straight away but by offering to help with the physical side ie trolley I was so thankful and made it so much easier.
I've also offered to help when I can see a mum really struggling but never with kids as you don't know whether they'll react badly to a stranger just with the shopping or pushing the empty pram while mum juggles kids etc
I think it's awesome that you want to. And Thankyou from all future IMs that you may help, it could really make a difference having that little bit of help at shops / park etc may mean that mums not so stressed when they get home
Yes i think asking is ok , if theres simething practical and its clear her hands are full that could be helpful. Ive had an old man pull paces amd that was enough to stop a toddler crying. I like it. Just dont try to overrule, overtake or change my course , and understand if im a little short tempered, but helping is nice especially when everyone else is staring.
I phrased that all very negatively - having somebody help when youre struggling in public can be a godsend, the difference between going home and feeling completely shit about yourself and the world or feeling positive, like youre ok and uplifted at the kindness of people.
I have had strangers hold my baby in the toilet, and ive had strangers help my older child get ready while im struggling with the baby.
The other day a lady returned my trolley for me, as she walked back past my car (i was still buckling babies in with my bad back) she said no worries at all, have a great weekend. It was really lovely. People should always choose kindness.
I've stopped and offered help to mums, older people and even middle aged people like myself. Just opening a door can be so helpful if someone's hands are full, helping lift a grocery item off a high shelf for a shortie, a sympathetic smile to a frustrated mum. But you know what gets the biggest bouquet - congratulating parents/grandparents/the kids themselves on their beautifully behaved children. Lovely kids deserve praise from strangers and it makes mum/dad feel like it's all worthwhile :)
I would agree except....my teenage daughters when I am complimented on their behaviour and I ask them what they did are quite confused......
and then we start looking for other kids thinking maybe they told the wrong parents but there aren't any around....and it leaves us all a bit baffled....cos maaaaaan my girls got attitude....
I have had my 2 year old fall asleep in the trolley seat so had to pick him up and put him on my shoulder. I was so grateful to the lovely lady who unpacked my trolley then repacked my trolley (i was in aldi) she then made her husband take my trolley to the car for me. I was incredibly grateful for this help. However if they had of offered to hold my son i would find that a bit weird. Their is no way i would hand my child over to a stranger.