Not for Facebook please
I've developed message anxiety. I swear every time I get a text message or any kind of message and hear that 'ping' my stomach clenches and my head starts thumping.
Lately the only people who message want to whinge about some drama in there life. They just want to unload. I just want them to go away now :(
This is not like me at all. i want to be a good supportive friend but I can't only hear bad stuff. It's exhausting and depressing.
My life is high stress as it is, caring for an adult son with an extremely rare incurable and untreatable disorder amongst other complex medical conditions. I normally cope very well and use a counsellor when I need to unload.
Sometimes I want to have conversations about fun stuff with my friends.
I worry if I unplug, my already small world will get even smaller.
5 Replies
Totally know where you are coming from. And currently I am unplugged......cruise some sites pick up some crochet watch some movies occasional lunch with real friends who actually came knocking at the door wondering where you are....although most had assumed for the last year I was buried in children's church stuff. So haven't realised to come looking.
The smaller circle isnt so bad. The rest has been worth it.
I sometimes have to change my message tone when I've had enough of listening to that thing or had a few rough messages. I know this isn't the solution to your situation at all - but maybe once you've had a break through and hopefully some friends 'get it' and start a fresh - a tone change will make your phone n friends awesome again :-)
Well done on carrying others for so long! Time to put some boundaries up! Big hugs! x
I am sorry to hear that your son is unwell. That is really tough.
People always talk about self care....you sound like you need self care blah blah blah, like a bath will fix all of the stuff you need to deal with day in day out. But I'll tell you a secret, self care is about understanding yourself, your needs and your limits and putting that before other people. As mums our natural instinct is to put others first but sometimes we reach our limit and your brain kicks in and starts shutting us down and kicking people out!
It's sounds like you are on overload mode at the moment. Step back and have a thing about what you need for you and allocate your precious spare time to that/them and limit the time you spend on stuff that doesn't make you happy. Even doing things like delaying returning texts messages or limiting time on phone calls about the drama can move you to a better place eg 'thanks for calling, I've only got a minute to chat at the moment, Anything urgent?'. Why not try to set the agenda when you call those friends. Eg 'Hi, I've had a really tough day today and I just need a laugh. Have I even told you about...'
Ps Also you can change the ring tone for individuals to silent. So when they ring you, you can't hear it . This means you can control when you want to respond.
Thank you for your responses. I turned the alerts off, and everything on silent.
Im feeling so much better already. Just giving myself permission to, has made a huge difference.
Today I'm going to watch a favourite TV series and hold my sons gigantic feet while he sleeps. Boy they are huge!
Rock those Moccasins and rub those feet take that much needed break!