I need some help with my 8 year old daughter. She is constantly weeping her pants and her bed. She is even wetting at school. She has been seen by doctors and it has nothing to do with her physically and emotionally she seems fine. When I ask her why she has done it she will say it is because she doesn't want to miss out on anything. I have tried punishing her and I have tried rewarding the good behaviour but nothing seems to work. I have tried explaining to her that she doesn't want to get picked on at school for it, and so far she hasn't which is good. I am worried that kids will start pick on her and it will crush the beautiful young girl I have.
Could anyone please suggest anything that has worked for you I am out of ideas.
Thank you
6 Replies
Have you tried a child psychologist?
Can you ask her teachers to sit her down and explain that she'll miss out on more by needing to be sent home or sent to the office for a change of clothes?
Have you explained the hygiene factor behind it?
I wouldn't punish her, as that could make it worse, but is it possible to make her 'miss out' on a lot more when she has an accident?
Make it take longer than needed when it come to cleaning her up, and explain to her that its such a shame because she misses out on more than if she had of just gone to the toilet in the first place.
I totally agree. I suffered from incontinence as a child & I could not explain why I wet my pants at school. I had lots of tests done & nothing was found to be wrong. It returned as an adult & it was so distressing yet I couldn't explain it. Eventually it was discovered I have stress incontinence. It's a horrible thing to live with as there is no cure just management of anxiety & stress triggers. Punishment & shaming would be the worst thing my parents could have done.
Start setting a timer for every hour and make her go to the toilet when the timer goes. Ask school to do the same. She will quickly learn it's better to go when she needs to rather than being sent away every hour!
I would be seeing another doctor and demanding a referral to a continence nurse or specialist. My sister when young had issues and was told for many years nothing was wrong with her she ended up loosing a kidney to disease.
My daughter did this for years. I threatened her with nappies. I started making her use the toilet every 2 hours. And reminding her that if i could smell it then so could others. She was prone to rashes and getting thrush. And i constantly reminded her why she was getting thrush....cause she wasnt going to the loo enough. I told her that kids can be cruel and that shell end up getting teased. She was the same, just holding on because she didnt want to miss anything & then shed laugh and have an accident. The toileting routine really helped her. And now she hardly ever does it, and surprise surprise the thrush is never around anymore.
I had this happen A LOT as a child and nobody could explain it including myself & specialists. When I was 18 it returned again but been an adult I sought help myself & it was discovered I have stress incontinence. I told my parents & they were surprised they hadn't realised I was an anxious child. I'm in my 30s now & it still returns when I am anxious or stressed. I find I get the urge & can have seconds to race to the nearest toilet. Even though nobody knew what the cause was I'm glad I was never shamed or punished over it as I had (& sometimes still have) no control over my bladder.