I have a very playful 3.5 year old who starts preschool next year. We teach her to play and be nice to everyone no matter what.
So my problem is that other peoples kids treat her like crap and other parents don't seem to care. On 3 separate occasions in the last few months: my neice has told her "your mother is dead" and locked her in rooms. (My neice is 9 and my sister is a bitch) so we don't see them often.
We went to a play centre with a friend and her son my daughter went to play with him and he pushed her because he didn't want to play with her. Instead of saying i don't want to play pushes her instead???
At a friends house and her 2 kids were playing rough and hitting knocking her over they are 9/4 to the point my 3.55 year old said play nice and just sits with me instead of playing.
My daughter in no way shape or form is an angel i definitely get the 3 year old tantrums but its only if we wont let her outside because its cold, she doesn't want quiet time in her room, she wants something others have that we can't afford nothing like hitting or punching.
So my question is at what point do we stop telling her to be nice/ play nice, it's going to take a toll on her eventually. At what point do we just give her boxing gloves and say if they hurt you this is how you drop them :/
I'm feeling sad and lost for her. since she is starting school next year what do we do?
2 Replies
I don't really know the answer but you're not alone!
My son is an extremely enthusiastic, outgoing nearly 5 year old and he is at school this year and the way he gets treated by some children is absolutely heart breaking. He will run up and want to be friends with EVERYONE and gets ignored, told to go away, nobody is coming to his party etc etc. I don't know either how to deal with this.
I remember going through this with my first. Also a girl. She was very playful, friendly and sweet. But has found her own way to get out of these types of situations.. .as she just isn't the type of person to fight back. Unfortunately/fortunately, their personality plays a hug role in how they end up managing these situations and you just have to guide her to figure out what to do, with her own self preservation in mind. My daughter, now 10, gets extremely upset by confrontation - even others fighting if she's not involved.... so I've taught her to walk away... and if that's not possible, use her humour. Humour is an amazing deflection tool in situations where others are being aggressive. She is 10, though. You will eventually figure it out. My daughter has had a hard trot figuring it all out. This is life, though. Very few people will parent exactly how you do.