I feel so guilty having my second baby so close to my first. Our first was planned, 2nd was not. I feel so guilty .... I feel like I should have enjoyed my first born more
But couldn't due to PND & 2nd bub. Just want to know how everyone else coped with this age gap (16 months between ours, unplanned).
Age difference
Age difference
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt, Kids
2 Replies
Ours are 14 months apart. Now 5 and 6 years old.
We planned for 18 months but we fell a lil soon.
Our second is far more resiliant, sometimes I felt she was the one ripped off as our 1st has a huge personality and over shadows her.
But she has much better coping skills.
We make sure both hubby and I get alone time with both of them, and always have.
My hubby is closer to our 2nd but maybe because she is a girl, and I tend to moly coddle our 1st he is a boy.
2nd was toilet trained before 1st.
2nd started school this year and was so ready.
They were basically bought up as twins, and are fantastic mates.
We have no family around to help, which has kinda made life easier as we dont have any input from outsiders.
My advise take a lil from everyones advise and use whats relevant.
I had 15 months between our first. I sort of felt the same at first. My second daughter was an extremely difficult baby so my eldest daughter lost her Mummy a bit. But now they're older (9 and 10 ) the age gap is a blessing. They have shared a room since toddlers. Share clothes because they're practically the same size. I found you only had to get through the rough first 18 months of the second child's life before you can make them learn to wait while you spend more time with your first. My oldest is extremely loving and caring because of this though. Don't feel bad. No such thing as a perfect age gap. Personality of the children plays a bigger role, I think.