So mother-in-laws, I have one and I get on with her really well! but she also irritates and frustrates me..
How do you mums deal with favouritism? My MIL loves my son but absolutely favours the bonkers out of my sister in laws kids.
I cant even ramble on about stuff, there is just way too much!!! but its really getting to me, I'm so sick of it!! Worst part is we cant even bring it up with her, weve kind of dropped hints and she gets so defensive and makes a mountain out of a mole hill!
How do I deal?? how do I continue to look at somewhere like facebook and see that shes spoiling those kids again??
I can put on a brave face but I'm so worried my son will come to me one day and ask questions- people that dont know her have commented to me befpre about the attention she gives the other kids and not for my son, like his birthday to name an occasion :((
thanks guys, just having a rant xx
8 Replies
OMG! Are we married to the same man? Cos I swear this's my mil lol
I totally understand! It's horribly frustrating & makes me so god dam angry! I think I'd get along well with you, I need someone to bitch to about my inlaws lol my 3 kids 7, 11, 13 have noticed & asked why grandma doesn't love them as much as the others ? It's so sad. We moved back to our 'home town' over a year & a half ago & she's only been here once, stayed for 5 mins & then said "well we can mark that one off the calendar now" she spoils her eldest & her kids with new presents ect and ALOT of her time (always babysitting) but you know what my kids got for their combined chrissy & birthday pressies? A dirty old toy from the op shop! (I don't really care about presents, just want to be treated equally) we dropped in one day on our way through to say hello & her & her daughters whole family were sitting around the table having a roast dinner, she said "oh sorry we don't have enough for you guys cos everyone wants seconds" I left & burst into tears! They really are not very nice people, hubby's dad makes us pay if we go there for a meal! We went over a few weeks ago for pizza & had to pay $2 per slice, I'm not joking this's 110% truth. I hope things get better with your mil but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone ?
My MIL (all my ILs really) dont acknowledge my son at all. We dont have anything to do with them. Long story short, once my son was born the way they carried on was the last straw. When he gets old enough to ask questions we will answer him as best we can.
Sounds like my inlaws, my mother in law has bought her daughters girl a show bag before and not my child, we go shopping and she will pay for her milk shake and not mt daughters! Im the type were i would buy both id never buy my girl a ice cream and not her cousins if they were with us, my inlaws never ask how she is and then they wonder why she has no interest in them
I have the same problem except it's my kids half brother that's the favourite! :/ if it were their cousins at least it wouldn't be so obvious! My daughter was talking the other day about when she was in my belly and actually asked about 'when 'brother' was in nanas belly'!! Omg! The older they get the more they will see it and while it makes me sad for them I don't want to push my children on to people who aren't interested. It's def hard but unfortunately probably not a lot you can do about it :(
I am coming from the grand kids point of view.
I am now 36years old and my 89year old grandmother still favours me.
But......she is my fathers mother and doesnt like my mum and never put in any time for my brother. Which annoyed my mum no end.
Anyhow when we were all old enough we worked it out.
When we were old enough we used to jest about who was going to be the favorite from xmas to xmas.
We even gave a plastic crown to who ever was talked about from xmas to xmas.
Its still a running joke.
Now I have kids my girl is the new favorite.
Nan has 5 great grand kids.
We live in a different state so its not proximity, we are thinking its more resemblance.
My girl, me, 2 of my girl cousins all look alike, we all share the crown the others don't get a look in.
My mum and I are very close and she also has alot to do with my kids even from another state.
My brother hasn't got kids yet, but said she probably wont be so close to them as my sil is a bit funny and thinks it will be different when they do have kids.
My mil has nothing to do with our kids.
My sil on this side has a new baby, I presume she has abit to do with him. But not sure.
Sounds like my MIL too, I have 3 kids 3, 6 and 8yo and my partners brother has 2 kids 9 and 11. She picks them up from school 1 day every week and they all have a family dinner afterwards. We have been around for dinner about 4 times in the last 3 years. The other kids often stay there overnight and sometimes for a whole week so their parents can go to Bali on their own, but they won't have our 3 together at one time as the boys are high energy. She buys scooters for the others for Christmas and our kids get $2 rubbish from the local fete. I have given up trying with her, it does cause problems with my partner as he's very defensive of them and usually makes excuses for their behaviour. Sorry this isn't an answer guess I wanted to get this off my chest too, and let you know you're not alone! ?
It really depends on the situation. My SIL complains that our MIL doesn't see her kids but then SIL never makes the effort. I know for a fact our MIL takes her kids out and spoils them when she's given the chance to see them but most of the time my SIL won't let her do it.
Another reason could be that if you see much more of your family than your in laws ... For instance my own mother passed away so the only nanna my child has is her so my MIL Helps me out a bit more because I don't have any other support. and my SIL gets jealous but SIL actually has a lot of support from her own mother.
My advice is that you should try and move past it, I'm sure your son isn't even aware of it, and it is only pissing you off out of jealousy which is what will be rubbing off on your son.
Thank you everyone for your responses! I've read them all and found them all so helpful!
I would say the whole situation makes me feel jealous to sum it up!
shes spends a lot of quality time with SIL children, watches one one day a week, lots of dinners together and sleepovers, days out to special places.
I guess I feel sad for my son because we are all so close with them all! she could easily ask to spend a day with my son or do something special with him too. She recently had him for a sleep over the other week for the first time ever and spent the whole day/night with him at SIL house with other kids, I felt disappointed as it was the opportunity she had been asking for - the one on one quality time. She does favour SIL over my husband and as I have heard from aunties has happened since they were kids!
But anyways, I just wanted to say thank you, a lot of your comments ran true, we are still lucky to have her, she does love us unconditionally and I need to stay more focused on the positives, if the day ever comes that any of my children bring it up with me, then ill be sitting her down for a chat but for now little man is happy and he is who matters the most.