Hi IM's
I'm labeled as a "young mum" I have tried many times to bond with other mothers but I just can't find someone I click with. The mums around my age are at different stages in life. I've owned a house since I was 19, had a career high up, married, one child.. Financially stable, not in a lot of debt etc etc, where they are either still living at home, renting, or single - they like to go out clubbing and drinking and that's just not for me.
I've tried to find people in there 30s who are on the same level as me but they just judge me for being so young.. (I'm 23 so not really that young)
Mine and Hubbys friends don't have kids and although we still socialise with them, it's hard to really connect because they don't understand the stress of family, mortgage, etc etc.
I don't know what to do anymore, I find myself hanging out at home with my husband and baby and sometimes it's very lonely.
Do any of you have any tips of how I can try to find some mum friends that are more like me someone I can relate to??
Thanks ladies
6 Replies
Just try to find friends, not mum friends.
Is it really that bad if they haven't done what you've done. If they're renting? Not married? Diversity is good, different experiences lifestyle and values open our mind. every single person on the planet knows at least one thing that we don't.
I am a young mum, I had a child in my teens. I don't really consider 23 that young either so not sure why you're getting judged :/
Try playgroups, there are usually mums there who are on the same page. I'm part of one that is run by fellow teen mums (although we welcome anyone of any age) maybe see if there's a young mums playgroup where you are? Ask on your local community Facebook page. A lot of mums at my playgroup aren't into clubbing or drinking etc either because...well we have kids and responsibilities. I don't really understand why it matters if someone is still renting? That doesn't make them financially unstable.
I think you are being a tad judgy...?? So you don't want to be friends with people who 'rent', 'live at home', 'have debt', 'enjoy partying'....I think u need to change your expectations. You are possibly missing out on amazing friendship because you are categorizing people. I have a mortage, had a house and investment property at 20, no other debt. Had a child at 22, married. I have a wide circle of friends. I have friends who struggle financially, i have friends that are 13 years younger then me, childless and just out of school, i have friends who are old enough to be my parents plus some. I have friends with blue collard jobs, friends who don't work, friends who have different religious beliefs to me. They are all wonderful and amazing people. I don't particularly need to be friends who are in the same financial situation as me, it's not even something i look at tbh. Put aside all that meaningless crap and I'm sure you'll find some wonderful friendships.
Totally agree with you here. That's the first thing that I thought whilst reading this post. I think you're being a bit judgemental also, kind seems like you just wanted to brag about how good you've got it & don't want to be friends with anybody who is 'below you'
"who are on the same level as me" ??? How about dropping that line and looking for Who people are not how well off they are!!! I'm mid 30's I have friends much older and much younger also same age group. Some own, some rent, some live with their parents. But you know what they all have in common? They are lovely people, honest, trustworthy people.
Have you tried your local playgroup? Go on different days until you find a group that you click with.
I love my Mums/playgroup. We range from ages 24 to 40 but all get along so well and care for eachother.