long story cut really short .....
My partner was an ice addict when we met , he has had professional help and has been clean for a year now ... We had a huge fight about everyday life issues and I went snooping through an old phone of his (I know snooping was wrong)
I found out he had been smoking I've again behind my back !!
I also found he had recently joined about 25 dating sites (in the last week) he had been chatting to chicks , sending naked pics of himself and they had been returning the favours !!
He has also been receiving naked photos of friends gf's.. For the whole time we've been together !! He's been saving the pics ... I am totally gutted , I'm not even angry ? I thought I would be going off !! I usually would !!
Should I keep giving this guy a go ? Should I run a mile ?
Will I ever rebuild my trust in him ?
Have others ever experienced anything like this ?
Oh and I'm due to give birth to our baby !! Any day now !!
Just to make it a little bit more difficult for myself ....
Please don't judge me ... For wanting to give him a go , I love him with all of my heart and I believe he loves me too !! I have said some horrible things to him , in the heat of the moment that I didn't mean !! I am far from perfect !!
Thank you
8 Replies
You should run a mile! Why would it even occur to you to give him another shot?
You are about to have a baby, you need to be able to raise your baby in a happy, healthy, stable and guaranteed clean from ice home. You have found out he is using and keeping it secret, why would that be ok to have around you and your baby?
Why would you want your baby growing up in a home where daddy treats mummy with zero respect.
Hell, no, there is no way he'd get another chance.
If you can move out do it NOW. If he can move out, kick him out now.
You snooped because your spider sense told you there were things very very wrong going on.
As someone who grew up with a drug addict for a father -
RUN. FAST.
Get proof that he's doing ice again (in case he takes you to court for custody - you can use it to demand drug tests and have visits supervised until its proven he's clean) and then run.
You'll do so much better on your own.
You need to start putting your child first. Yes u and he may love each other but being bought up in a house where fighting and drugs is not the best thing for a child. Children need stable environments to thrive. What happens when he forgets to put his drugs away and heaven forbid your baby gets its hand on it. I would be leaving straight away before this baby is born.
There is no question-you need to leave. My ex partner started using ice when I was pregnant with our second child, he cheated with other ice addicts. At the time I couldn't imagine a life without him in it. Even after all he's done. I thought we were a family, I thought I meant more to him. It wasn't until he was drug free that I left. The damage was done. If you decide to stay, you will never trust him. You will be suspicious of his EVERY move. That isn't a life you want to lead. Not to mention that ice changes people. My ex has never been the same after using it. I look back now and laugh at how silly and blind I was. My life is so much better without him in it. Trust me when I say you will get to this point too. There is no other option but to leave. You and your baby will be happier without him. X
I'm The should I stay or should I go mumma from a few weeks ago....hubby had signed up to some dating sights for the second time....,yeah that was me anyway I'm still here trying to work through everything (some days are better then others) but I can tell you that it's not an easy choice, especially when everybody's reply is saying get out go now, but at the end of the day you need to do what is right for you and bubs. Unfortunetly nobody here can make that choice for you or give you an answer. Unfortunetly for me the drugs would be a deal breaker though. You need to think about the sort of environment you want to live in and if the baby will be safe. The baby will be a huge deciding factor for you. And if you can ever forgive him. I have always said I won't stay in a relationship because of the kids I need to believe that I'm in this relationship because I love him not staying out of obligation.
Thank you !!!
I was starting to think I was seriously delusional ... That I was the only one that couldn't see running away was the best option !!
I'm still no closer to knowing what I actually want to do !!
But it gives me peice of mind to know that you are also walking the hard road and giving it a proper crack !!
There is other kids involved in the relationship , just not between myself & my partner !!
Oh honey I know it's not an easy road and I second guess myself and my choice every couple of days. While I wont encourage you to stay with an addict I will say the choice is yours and yours alone you do need to ask yourself why you didn't get angry though....I do think that's a big thing you need to look at. Regardless of what choice you make all us mummas should support your decision. If you can manage it try and get away by yourself for a couple of days....it was the best thing I did it gave us both time to think about what we wanted ❤️
Ice can make you do things that you swore you never would, and stuff that you never even knew about until you sunk to the depths of its depravity. I know because I've been there. Aside from sending and receiving naked pics from females he doesn't even know, i'd be more concerned about the pics of mates gfs. Suggests to me that perhaps when he was apparently innocently visiting these mates, who knows exactly what kind of stuff was going on. I mean, why are his mates gfs sending naked pics? Are they users too? If so, I'd be tempted to think there's some sort of sexual activity going on between them all. I'm sorry to mention these things but the truth is, unless you've been there, you can never truly know or understand. I hope you can find the strength to make the right decision for yourself and your baby.