My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years now and of course the subject comes up over and over again of "When will you have children?"
Hubby's go to answer is we aren't. Or we decided not too etc. But deep down we both know we both want them more than anything in this world...problem is we can't have them.
After years and years of TTC, docs appts, blood tests, specialist appts, you name it we have done it there is no specific reason why. No distinct reason that we can pinpoint and say this is why we aren't having children. We just can't. It just won't happen.
I figure it's time we probably tell people to stop the questions but how? I can't think about it without breaking down let alone speaking about it. It crushes me inside, I feel useless and horrible. Not even our parents or family knows because I don't know how to get through the conversation.
4 Replies
Write them a letter and post it xxx
I can't imagine how difficult that conversation will be for you. Maybe start with telling 1 person that you trust and feel comfortable with and see how the conversation goes. That person in turn could be there to help you tell others or even do it for you xx
It is a hard thing to do both my husband and I were the same, we always said kids weren't for us and we almost starting avoiding kids because we wanted them so much.
We told some close friends first ( that way I could cry) they had no idea how we felt. Once we told them we found it a little easier telling others as we got it off our chest.
We were in the same situation as you both, test after test with no real reason, We changed diets did it all. 3 years later I heard about Pre-seed lubricant! We fell pregnant first go. Do some research on it first but I think it worked for us. Stay strong and good luck.
Just say it: we can't. We don't know why, we've been through all the tests, but we just can't. Even if you break down during that conversation. There's nothing wrong with opening up and being vulnerable - it's scary and confronting but it might help them understand why this question is actually downright effing rude to even ask!
Much love IM xxx