Hey sisters,
My ex and I have been separated for 5 months now. He lives quite far away so he only visits one weekend a month. We have a daughter who is 1 and a half and she is starting to show some really negative emotions after talking to him. He face times her almost every weekday (we tried cutting it back to three days but she kept wanting more)
Last night she was up until almost 11pm walking around asking for dad.
She grabs my phone and passes it to me saying "daddy", and when I say "no, we aren't calling daddy again" she will hit me, scream at me, throw things at me and so on.
When he does call, she is barely interested and would rather watch TV or play with her toys.
I do understand she is young and can't understand/control her emotions but I am at a loss of what I can do to stop this behaviour.
Please any advice would be really helpful!
3 Replies
She misses her father. Its a big change for her. She might only be one, but she understands a lot more then you realize.
Did you and your ex seperate on amicable terms?
A one year old needs regular contact with both parents, if possible (and in child's best interest).
Try and make it a routine where she calls daddy every night at the same time. Make it apart of her bedtime routine so she can say goodnight to him.
If it becomes a routine, she'll be less likely to act out or be upset if its not 'daddy time'.
Just give her a set time limit for each call.
Is it posssible for dad to visit evety fortnight instead of every month?
I understand there is a distance, but once a month is such a big gap for a young child.
Good luck, and just remember that your daughter needs some time to adjust to such a big change, but you'll all be fine soon enough.
Also, try to not use the word 'no'.
Try 'we can't call daddy right now, we'll call him _____'
My toddler acts the same way, with the hitting and acting out, when he's told no over anything. Explaining that he can do it later helps prevent tantrums almost every time.
And if he does hit, I do my best to ignore it. Most toddlers only hit because they know they'll get a reaction. If I react, he hits me more often. If I ignore it, he goes and sulks.
It's hard when they don't understand time. I used to say, not today. Very firmly and clearly. And tell her every day so she knows what's going on. until two days away you can say soon, then tomorrow, then daddy today!
When she wants to ring, do a fake call and say oh, daddy must be at work. Talk to her about where he is and what he's doing. Show her photos.