Hi IM mums! ....A mum yelled at my 2.5 yr old son while on a play date which completely took me by surprised because he wasn't misbehaving. I am a big believer on pulling up my children when they have done something but I never yell at them, and I would never raise my voice to someone else's child either it's just not my place. I can't help feel that I let my son down for not sticking up for him in this situation and I'm wondering if I should have said something to this mum. I don't want to stop our friendship but I don't think this mum had a right to yell at my son like the way she did.
4 Replies
I would have asked what he did and then taken over the discipline in my own way. And then politely said let me know if he does something wrong next time.
Dealing with these things in the moment are much easier, otherwise they get out of hand.
Are you sure he was doing nothing wrong? Seems odd to yell at a child for no reason? There must have been some kind of trigger.....doesn't mean she gets to yell
Nothing grates me more than someone else telling off another persons child especially when the parent of the child is there!!! He is 2-1/2 for god sake how much wrong could he be doing that she found the need to raise her voice to him while mum is there!! Yes if it happens again I would say something, just say all good I will take care of it and ask her what it is that he has done. If you feel it's not bad enough to tell him off than just don't!!!! She will get the gist that you don't appreciate her doing your job!!
Maybe just talk to her about it in a light hearted way? Something like "oh hey, you known the other day, on our play date? Did xxx do something to upset you? I didn't see anything unusual..." and see what she says. Perhaps think of how you want to react if it happens again? That way you wont feel guilty if she snaps again at future play dates.
It might have also had nothing to do with your childs behaviour, there may have been an under laying issue, no reason to take it out on others though.
What happened to it taking a village to raise a child? When I was a kid the nearest adult would deal with misbehaviour and parents never thought anything of it. He wasn't misbehaving in your view (and from what you saw) but something must have happened, no sane person walks up to the 2.5yr old and just starts yelling, perhaps you should have asked what the problem was at the time but it's a bit late now, let it go.