Just want to know if the way im thinking is wrong?
I have been seperated from my ex for 3 years and we have two kids together.
My family still talk to my ex and have even gone out to dinner with him etc. It really annoys me to the point i dont even want to see or speak to my family anymore and the only reasson i do speak to them is because of my kids.
Is it wrong to feel this way. Shouldnt your family be suporting you.
My family do know how i feel but dont seem to care how i feel.
Family still speaking to ex
Family still speaking to ex
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Relationships & Marriage
10 Replies
Why do you feel the need to control everyone around you? Why can't they be friends with whoever they choose? And why not be friends??? You have children together. Wouldn't it be better for the kids to not feel they have to pick sides?
Its not about the kids picking sides. Iv never said anytjing about that. I have never said anything bad about their dad to them. This has nothing to do with the kids. Im talking about my family. And when a guy has abussed you emotionaly and cheated on you. You would think your family would be the ones standing by you supporting you.
Im sorry your ex hurt you. Unfortunately tho (or fortunately) him being unfaithful to you and volatile doesnt effect his relationships with others. Obviously seperating was the right thing to do for you guys. But its been 3 years. Yime to move on. And yes it is very controling to try and tell others not to have contact with someone simply because you dont get a long with them.
Going out to dinner with him I find strange but as there are kids concerned which are both yours and his I think it's good to stay amicable (for the kids sake) with the ex. How long were you together for? Just because he's your ex doesn't automatically wipe the history he had with your family (the good times). Unfortunately you can't tell people who they can and can't talk to, you can tell them you don't like it but ultimately it's their decision.
Just because I'm in contact with a friend or families ex doesn't mean I'm not being supportive. Keeping the peace and maintaining a relationship for the kids sake is very important.
If something happens to you who do you think will get the kids, your ex. We'd like to see our nieces and nephews if the worst happens.
Plus one day I assume we are going to see the exes and different functions, weddings etc and would g it be nice to go without tension.
Plus if the ex needs help with the kids, I bloody well hope he'd reach out to us, just as you'd reach out to us.
My job as a good family member is to support people in my niece and nephews lives. Wether you get on or not.
I agree with you. No explanation needed! Being the kids dad doesn't mean they have to socialise with him right now how ridiculous. Hopefully you have some support & friends in your corner to help you through
And vice versa: being her ex doesnt mean they have to cut ties with him. Its been 3 years, she needs to move on. Her family members can be friendly with whoever they like whilst still supporting her and as you said, no explanation is needed
You cannot make them not be friends with someone who was obviously in their life for a while. How about you just stop talking/visiting/liking someone who's been in your life for 10 years because I said you have to and tell me how that feels. My ex was abusive and controlling yet he's still invited to family events because as much of an arse he was to me while we were together he wasn't an arse to them and who am I to say no you can't be friends or break bread with your grandkids/niece/nephews father. You cannot choose and control what others do. It's been 3 years let it be. Just tell them you would appreciate it if they didn't discuss you when they hang out together as you've moved on and you dont want him knowing your business and leave it at that.
Oh I can relate!!! I ended a long term relationship with my ex fiancé nearly a decade ago. My family were still contacting him right up until 2 years ago!!! And only because I lost my shit!!!
I dated a man for 4 years. Bought a house had a miscarriage together etc. we broke up and then a few months later my sister started dating him. They are now married.