I moved to Gold Coast for a better life and also for my studies. However, I got pregnant to my partner not long after we moved here and everything was fine until bills and money started becoming an issue. I can't find work after my work coincidently didn't have enough hours for everyone after finding out I'm pregnant. My partner is finding it hard to find any decent work either so he is stuck working 2 days a week which pays rent and the Centrelink we get pays for all our other needs give or take but we're still out of money by the third day after being paid.
We don't have a car so we use public transport which costs us around $40.00 each per week if not more! Food is easily over $200.00 and then we've got all our other bills on top of it. I just want to cry.
We have NO family support in Gold Coast and we have no friends here. We can't find a house that's good enough for us and has enough rooms. It's expensive to live here as well. Rent for a one bedroom unit with the most inconsiderate people living in the complex and druggo's next door, is $300.00 a week. I also just found out the company I have a credit card with (as it was the only way I could get furniture) is now charging me interest all of a sudden! If I don't pay it back ASAP, it's going to cost us a fortune!
I'm strongly considering moving back to my hometown but I'm extremely scared.
I've put my studies on hold for 12 months as I'm due to give birth in the coming months but if we were to move back to my hometown we would again have to move back to Gold Coast for me to continue my full time study (Monday - Friday 8:00am - 3:00pm).
I'm scared that even if we make the move, I won't be happy and will regret it. I have anxiety which makes me overreact about money and other things so I don't know if I AM doing or thinking the right thing on behalf of my family and my partner is too laid back to make a fuss about this decision. It's "if you want to, we will". He fully supportive of everything but he's not budging when I bring up the subject so I'm feeling alone in the matter.
If we were to move, we would move into his Mum's granny flat under her house. I don't have that great of a relationship with her but I know it would save us HUNDREDS a week and give us a chance to get back on our feet (I think?). It would mean providing a safe and quiet environment for our child but what about when my study comes around and it turns out we haven't saved enough just yet or he decides not to want to come back? We have a few debts and contracts as we never planned on moving again or having a child.
Some days, I don't want to be anymore. I want to run from all my dramas. I'm losing hope and my mind.
How do you outweigh the pro's and cons? How do you know it's the right thing to do? What if my partner and I become unhappy there? I'm scared. It's a very sudden decision because if we were to move, it would have to be in early May as our lease ends then.
I'm so scared!
What did you do? Did it go to plan for you? Are you still happy?
Please help. I'm falling apart and I'm so very lost. I've got no friends, family or support where I am. This is my only hope to know what to do.
And please don't tell me my partner should be supportive because he is in every way. It's just that I can't get him to talk about this particular subject and it's the ones that has my chewing my gums raw at the moment. I'm in serious fear of losing everything.
Am I Doing The Right Thing? So Confused.
Am I Doing The Right Thing? So Confused.
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Self Care, Pregnancy, Baby & Toddler, Money
1 Replies
Personally, I did move home because of family and support etc etc & it was the worst idea. I moved away again before baby was one. If you weren't happy there, you won't be happy there with a baby. I'm now watching my friend go through this, just found out they're expecting, he's joining the army!! People panic & want everything right away.
A baby needs nothing, they fit in your arms and fit into YOUR Life. You have lots of time to make changes as they grow and you see and feel what your family needs.
Your mums granny flat will always be there, if you're close to her & want to live in that town, move.
If you want to live on the gc, stay. It will work out better than what you're imaging. If it doesn't, you've got your mum as a backup.
Stay where your friends are, where your hobbies are, where you want to be, these are the things you'll need to balance your life with looking after the baby.