So, I'm doing my own baby shower because no one will help me. My partner says to ask his Mum but as much as he thinks she "likes me", I don't feel it and I can't stand her. She's one of those people who jumps in and does what she wants and doesn't even run it by you and she just doesn't have a filter for thing she says and does. I also don't have much trust for her. And I don't want to ask my Mum because she's already helping me get/find a car and pay off my furniture!
My child's God Mother was all, "I'll help and I'll even pitch in" and she did help with organising some of it until it came closer to the date and suddenly I can't get her to call me back or even have a conversation with her. We've been friends since highschool and it's so odd to be honest. She's never usually like this. I thought it might be work but like I said, I can't get a conversation out of her so I don't know.
It's no help considering she's the host and we're doing the baby shower in our hometown which is 9 hours away from where I live because our family is there.
I had a full idea of food and drink (on budget) the she kept telling me I need to understand people might not like the food I do, so I have to cater to others needs, which she said she would help with considering her ideas were expensive.
My partner and I just got all our bills and some stuff has happened with the financial side. Now I think I'm resorting to sausages on bread. Just a nice casual BBQ at the park with mixed softdrink and water as well as cupcakes (instead of cake). Is this ok?
My baby shower is pretty big too, there's going to be about 30 people there, not to mention, I don't know half of them! I know about 5, if that of his family and friends. The other half is my family and friends so I should be comfortable right?
And I don't want to ask guests to bring food because they're already be bringing gifts of some sort and do be honest, I don't know the first thing about parenting so what they bring should give me an idea of what a baby needs, right? And I'm not expecting big and expensive. I already have a pram and car seat (new but got them for a good price).
And I have 2 games but need a third! I'm doing 'Mummy or Daddy?' and 'How Big Is Mum's Belly?' and that's all I've got...
I've got string at home I'll be taking so I don't have to buy any, I'm printing out, cutting out and taping moustaches and lips to each end of a kebab stick to save money... I need something that I don't really have to spend money on as I have to spend $30.00 on prizes for them as it is ($10.00 a prize).
PLEASE don't think I'm stingy, I would honestly spend more money if I could and I'm already worried everyone else is going to judge me for having a shit party.
And what came first? Food or games? How do I start the party? I'm a little lost. I was maybe 11 when I went to a baby shower (first and last) and can't remember a thing!
Please help, I've got just over a week until my Baby Shower and I feel like saying, sorry, baby shower is cancelled because I'm useless.
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10 Replies
Oh, you poor sweetie!
I was in a similar situation. Horrible mother in law that wanted everything done her way, a mother who was already doing so much for me, and a best friend who suddenly was unreachable.
Even down to the menu! I'm a vegetarian and had a couple of people tell me the menu better not be mostly vegetarian.
So I'll give you advice I wish someone had given me.
This is YOUR baby shower.
Not your friends, not your mother's, not your in laws... yours.
If you don't do what you think is the best way to celebrate the life of your child, you'll be the one to regret it!
Who cares if you have a fancy tea party with silly baby shower games, or a sausage sizzle family get together?
Do what best suits you and your budget!
It's all about celebrating your little bundle of joy, after all. And its a bit hard to celebrate when you're so overwhelmed!
I personally regret not having a simple BBQ or afternoon tea with close family and friends, instead of the expensive, cliché and horrible party with a bunch of strangers my in laws invited.
This is exactly what I wanted and needed to hear. Thank you so much, ❤️.
Honey, a baby shower is just a party. There are no rules! So you just make it as simple or as complicated as you like.
It's up to you what you do and don't do, and if anyone cares that it's a sausage sizzle then you don't need them! I personally love a sausage sizzle. And would be far more comfortable in a low key event.
And if you can't be bothered doing games etc don't, there are no rules, if you want games have them if you don't then don't.
It is just a party, that is all.
Babies need very, very little. Nappies, 7 grow suits, 7 singlets, wraps/swaddling, some cloth nappies for spew rags, stroller and cot, a couple of beanies and some mittens. I also had a couple of bottles in case I didn't take to breastfeeding. Yes there is lots of stuff you could have but most of that isn't needed. I found people bought me pretty stuff, not practical/useful so while I got some gorgeous outfits I needed to get the everyday stuff.
So for my baby shower, we went to a restaurant (approx $20 a meal) and i just asked guest to pay for their own meal instead of gifts. We played a few games and i had a cake made. It was a lovely afternoon with my girl friends. Baby showers are about celebrating new life, celebrate how you want to.
Why don't you just cancel it and go out with your friends only for lunch or something? Seems weird that people you don't even know are coming to give you gifts and celebrating the life of your baby? Make it a more intimate affair. Have your friends/mother/MIL.. and go out for lunch somewhere. If you can't afford to pay for their lunch, ask them to pay and say no gifts. They'll give you a gift when bub is born anyway.
Because my family live 9 hours from where I am and it's the only chance of seeing them before I give birth. Plus, they won't see bub until at least 3 months after she is born. And I don't think it's fair to blow off his family because I don't know them. Our child is their family too. Otherwise I think I would cancel and get together with just my family and friends.
The other posts are so right. This is YOUR party. If you try and please everybody else you'll end up not enjoying it and it's supposed to be a celebration of you and your baby.
I don't think there is anything wrong with a sausage sizzle in the park. Maybe you could ask your partners mum to help with that specifically? I think it would be nice to include her and surely she can't go to wrong.
I also think that it's a great opportunity for you to get to know your partners family. Don't be nervous! You've got the perfect conversation starter in your belly ? Maybe you could do some get to know you games or have team games but mix everybody up so everyone gets to know each other a bit better. If you want I can look for some other games for you that are easy and cheap to organise.
Not sure about how useful your gifts will be. Everybody has different ideas of what's appropriate. If you need any help at all feel free to get in touch with me. I had my first baby 9 months ago and it was very overwhelming (and Google doesn't have all of the answers!). Be reassured though that apart from a car seat nearly everything else baby related was second hand for us. Op shops are awesome as are garage sales and gumtree. Babies grow so quickly that they don't wear out gear and they're usually in good knick when people get rid of them
I don't normally do baby showers but I went to one of a work colleagues and one of her games was "sniff the nappy". Get a $3 pack of nappies from Aldi or Coles, number each nappy and smear stuff in them, think different flavoured chocolates, mint slice biscuit, scented essences/oils etc. Give everyone a small writing pad and a pencil and they have to write down their answers to see who gets the most right and wins.
Ditch the $30 on 3 prizes. Go to Kmart and get a few $3 boxes of chocolates = prizes. For $30 you could have 10!
For the timeline I'd say 30 minutes at least for people to mingle and introduce themselves. Then get everyone in a big circle and they take it in turns to say their name and who they are (related to). Kick off the first game. Put out some chips, crackers and dip (nice and cheap) and maybe one sweet slice and then get the second game going. Open your gifts while the snags are cooking (don't forget to take sauce, I can handle snags on bread but not without sauce lol), then everyone eats. If you have a third game, play it then after everyone has eaten (but not the sniffy one I mentioned as everyone is just going to smell sausages haha). That was about the timeline of the one I went to and it seemed to go okay. Good luck, and remember to enjoy yourself.
Google game ideas my friend had hers at home and didn't cost her much at all. She bought some nice balloons and streamers to decorate. Made fruit salads, potatoe salads, ham and cheese and other sandwiches fairy bread and had some sausage rolls and music playing. Games wise she did- who can dress the baby the fastest (2 baby borne naked had to do cloth nappies and cloth them) how big is the baby just needed toilet paper or string and can't remember her others but she just googled them. People won't mind if it's at a park bring some picnic gear and set it up as it would be in your yard :)
Nothing wrong with snags on bread and cupcakes.
For your game get a calander or board and get everyone to guess when Bub will arrive and how big they will be. Nice easy and simple.