Hi sisterhood.
My daughter will be 4 in a couple of weeks and I want another baby. My partner and I have our ups and downs. More so last month or two. We are working on things and have been amazing to each other in the last few weeks. Should I talk to him about it now while we are in the new lovers stage again or wait? Our daughter was a big surprise to us. I feel my partner is clucky with younger kids or babies are the soft spot for him. If my partner and I have our problems it doesn't stop him being the best dad he could be for our daughter.
I'm not sure what to do please help me!!
5 Replies
It depends what you mean by ups and downs? Are those downs so down that you considered leaving? Are those downs physical or emotional abuse?
If any of those three things are on the list then don't bring it up, wait until things are truly stable. Not in the lovey dovey stage, but truly stable for 12 months.
Babies usually add stress and they certainly don't fix relationships. Plus you don't want to find that the relationship didn't get back on track long term and then you find yourself pregnant, with a 4 year old, single and trying to restart your life.
Nope. Not on the basis of a couple of weeks.
I take ups and downs to mean you're unhappy, or think it could come to leaving? leaving with a four year old is pretty easy, find a real love and build a family on love.
Having a baby makes everything harder. Leaving with two is harder. Living with two is harder. Waiting until the baby is four means another four years of ups and downs and leaving with two is harder and the oldest will be 8, so that will be much harder too.
I know because I did it. The inevitable happened, we've split, and I'm four years behind everyone else who did leave and moved on, and now I'm single with two kids not one.
Your wants can't trump what would be best for a baby. It's unfair to deliberately bring a baby into an unsteady relationship. Whatever it is you're both doing to make things be "amazing", keep going and let it be amazing for a bit longer to ensure it's actually going to last this time.
Is been more the 7years been together. At some point has to have its ups and downs or you will be reading a perfect love story from a book. Bigger that lets learn how to make things stronger
We have custody of his niece. Goes back to court on Friday 4th. I will see how that goes first at court then talk about having another. No I'm not hoping a baby will fix things eventhough I really hope we can sort our shit out. And if we do before the baby is here. I think I'm ready. He asked the other night if I was still on the pill I said yes cause I still take it and he was like oh ok I ask why and he said he was just checking. 4years I have been taking it and he is checking if I'm still taking it.