Hi ladies I am a mother of 3 and my husband and I are low income earners. I have what I considered a close friend who I would do anything for to help out.
She relayed to me that she was having a tough time with money as she is single mum with 2 children sometimes struggling to put food on the table (as she has said she needed to steal bread at one point)
Being the kind of person i am, I have given clothes for her children, shopping when she said was struggling and babysitting when needed without asking anything in return and she's said has no other family or friend support. However I have just recently found out that she recieves over $1500 in government benefits and she has other friends doing similar things that I am. I have offered to help her work out a budget to get back in control but she declined. Now I'm left wandering if she may be taking advantage of our friendship. Should I confront her or am I being paranoid?
Am I being used?
Am I being used?
Posted in:
Life Lessons
9 Replies
She is taking advantage! Sorry but as a sole parent ive never had to steal bread.
Yes it's been really tight sometimes but we have gotten by.
I have nice furniture and rented some nice units. Not fancy but nice. I have single friends who pay Sydney rents and they aren't stealing and grafting from everyone!
That's you. Try finding yourself single with a mountain of debt, no friends or family to offer childcare and no job opportunity coming up for months. Then somebody smashes your security screen, another $500. And youre so stressed you forget to pay your rego and get done one day late, $1200. It can feel endless, youre living hard and still drowning deeper every day.
I get it can be hard and I'm not saying there weren't times that were bloody tough! All bills on payment plans etc and no I couldn't work because my kid was incredibly sick. I still never stole bread and I still didn't take advantage of multiple friends.
I cut my own hair for 2 years and stopped shaving anywhere!! Lol I know it can get tough.
Yeah I learned that one the hard way. Old school friend, hard luck story, borrowed money with the promise of paying it back and never to be seen again. She doesn't answer my calls or texts, just dropped off the face of the earth...
Yes it sounds like it, but can I just say you are a lovely person xx
You never know, maybe she is feeling down and out, and she knows where her money's going and knows you dont need to look at it and give budget ideas she's already done its frustrating going over it again and again, maybe she's feeling sorry for herself and maybe you don't think she needs help but she really does. Either way, you don't have to give to be her friend. If you don't want to or aren't in a position to, don't do it.
Did she actually ask for help? Or did you just give it after hearing her problems? If it's the latter, then I think regardless of the info you now have in relation to her income (not sure if that's right anyway as my sister is on single parent and only gets 550 a week or something around that), then you really can't say she's taking advantage. If you choose to do something nice for someone then you do it, no questions asked, without any expectation of it being reciprocated unless it's mutually organised as a borrow/loan/pay back type deal.
with two kids she is getting enough to support herself and her children. if she is struggling there is help out there without burdening friends or family. baby sitting is the best way to help but that is it.