Hi IM's
We are due to have our second baby in a couple of months and we have chosen a name. My Sister in law (one of 3) is not well, she seems to withdraw more and more as she feels awful all the time. She's trying so hard to change her circumstances but its not really helping and its upsetting myself and my husband to watch her decline emotionally (as I'm sure its upsetting everyone else too)
My question is, we have chosen our babies name already but are open to changes and we decided orginally not to use any of my sister in laws names as its their right to use those names for their own children eventually. This particular sister in law has an incredibly close bond with our first born and our niece and is an exceptional aunt and the more I watch her withdraw emotionally the more I'm thinking it would be a lovely idea to use one of her names for our babies middle name. I was hoping not only would it be a nice way to recognize the fantastic job she does as an aunt but maybe it would also cheer her up. What are peoples thoughts? Is this a lovely idea or am I being selfish to use one of her names as it takes her initial oppotunity away for her children down the track.
Thanks all :)
3 Replies
Using a name as a middle name does not take the option away to use a name. Lots of families have shared names and shared middle names.
Every second cousin in my family is a Louise or Ann (for my grandmother) as a middle name. We even have multiple first names. So 2 charlottes, 2 Patricia's, etc etc
But if you say she is emotionally fragile just ask her.
Ask her only she knows which way she'll feel. If she's withdrawn and you don't explain it or ask her she may assume the worst and withdraw from you more.. Definitely ask her. Or, consider a masculine version of her name.
I think I would feel honoured if a family member chose to name their child after me - particularly if I was close to their children.
I am named for my Nan (my middle name), I am her first grandchild and she told me that she nearly fell over when Dad told her my name, she was so thrilled. I planned to pass it on to my children, however with my daughter (first and only, so far) the name wouldn't have worked with her first name. We ended up using another name, which incidentally is the middle name of both my youngest sister and my husband's only sister. Both were tickled pink when they were told.
I would run it past her, but I can't imagine why she a) wouldn't be honoured and b) would be precluded from using her name for future children.