Hi IM Sisterhood!
My Child has finished school education a couple of years ago now. During that time I received very little child support but we managed to get by. I am currently receiving some of the arrears I am owed and was wondering what are your views on who is entitled to this money I am receiving now. I own my own home in which I have raised my child and it is in need of some much needed maintenance/repairs. Would it be fair for me to use this money on the house which will eventually be my child's some day or should the money be given directly to my child now. I would appreciate your honest opinions without being nasty, I just want to do what is right, thanks mumma's
9 Replies
Fix your house. I know a few people who have received child support once the kids have grown up. One lady split it with her child and the others kept it. If it were me I'd fix the house, unless my child was in need of some cash. It's money that you have spent way back when to cover his share, so don't feel guilty
My mum is owed about 50k in arrears we have a deal, if she ever receives it well go 70/30 on the money with most of it going to me as the money was supposed to be spent on me and my upkeep. When I receive the child support for my kids I do stuff for them. New clothes, trips to a local cafe, fees, toys I don't spend it on me. We also have this arrangement because I paid my own school fees once I got a job and for any clothes I wanted or needed from the age of 14 and I was doing odd jobs to get them before then. And I always had hand me downs because my older sister by 4 years always wore them first. Mum never spent money on me if she could help it. So it's only fair that I receive most of the money ment for me. In saying that it will probably never happen and well never get the money. Maybe once he dies, I might get a share in the property my grandfather left for us to share. But I do really doubt it. It's each to their own, if you intend on leaving the house to your daughter fix it up with some of the money.
Unless your child has a genuine need for it I would consider it yours. You have supported your child without help from dad so it is compensation for expenses incurred whether the child is grown and out of school or not... Your choice but as you say repairs to the house will only be of benefit your child anyway in the long run :-) Just don't feel guilty about it :-)
that money is all yours. you sacrificed extras for yourself and your home to pay every cent of what your child needed. now its your turn to look after yourself and get back some of the things you missed out on to give your child a good life.
Fix your house! without a doubt. If you were well off then I'd consider putting the money aside for something for your son, but sounds like you need it.
Plus I can guarantee you went without a lot to make up for dads lack of payment.
Normally I advocate for the childs rights however I feel that is your money, it's for you to raise the child, which you did, not for the child directly.
I assume you have prioritised your child's needs over home repairs and maintenance over this time - I would say fix the house. If you feel guilty, maybe do an 80/20 split of the money? Pop it into an account for them and once all arrears are paid they can have a nice little lump of cash :)
Keep a percentage for your child, to either pay uni fees/use as first home deposit, use the rest on your house. I'm assuming it's quite a bit as fixing a house isn't cheap. If it's a substantial amount I'd try to, as cheaply as possible, fix your house, so your child can benefit more from the money, too. But if it's a small amount I wouldn't feel too guilty using it for your house.
Im going to go against everyone and say Put it in an account for your child. Or put it towards their first car. Dont give it to them now, they will just blow it. But personally I wouldnt feel right about spending it. In saying that, its your choice and at the end of the day you are the one thats been financially supporting them. Good luck! :-)