My Son

Thought id post something that could bring a smile to anothers face. Its going to be a long one!

Tonight after the usual evening routine of dinner, baths, toy cars and of course cleaning the mess that was made within an hour it was time to put my two year old to bed. Generally i walk him to his room and he gets in his "big boy beddy" and i tuck him in, give him a kiss and tell him i love him along with sweet dreams and walk out of the room to go finish my chores and lay down with exhaustion. But tonight was something different, tonight was something special.

As i tucked him in he said "mummy read book" so l laid down next to him all squished in his bed and started to read his favourite story, a cuddle for little duck. As im sure many relate we couldnt stop at one story so he asked for another, i got up to get another one whilst still thinking of all the other house work yet to be done and layed back down to read another book. We opened the animal book and then he says "look mummy zebra " and continued to name ELEVEN different animals without any help at all. After the book was finished i told him it was sleepy time and got up to leave the room when he said, for the first time "please mummy here" and pointed to the space on the bed next time him. So i turned the light off and again jumped back into his bed, he then faced me with the biggest smile and gave me a the biggest hug and two kisses and said "thankyou mummy". Obviously at this point my mind was some what blown, but i said to him "your welcome, i love you" to which he replied.. "i love you more". Never have i ever instantly broken into tears of sheer happyness with something my son has done but this is that moment... that moment when you realize that all the sleepless night, tantrums, smelly nappies, hair pulls, the famous NO to every question, uneaten dinners and crying at 2am because you feel like your just not coping and postnatal depression hitting you like a tonne of bricks with the fear of being a single mum all became worth it. Every little thing that has happened in my time of being a mum and in my personal life that made my heart ache led to this exact moment of feeling unconditionally loved, wanted more then anything and needed as much as oxygen, and it all came from the little human that through everything has been by my side tugging on my skirt. I may have lost alot over the years but ill always have him and i will remain forever gratefull for his teeny little heart beat and the feeling to love and be loved back regardless.

I know it may not seem much to some, but to me this healed all wounds and made me feel like, hey you know what, im a amazing mum. its almost like he saved those words for that exact moment. The following quote i heard roughly 6 years ago now finally makes sense.

"Faith is a flower of light in a field of darkness. It gives us the strength to carry on, even through the darkest of times."

He is my light in the dark, he is my strength when im weak and he will forever give me faith in a truly extrodinary life. I will be saving this post for when hes old enough to understand that i depend on him just as much as he depends on me.
Thanks for reading :)