Please post anon xx *trigger of harm and suicidal thoughts*
I'm a single mum with 2 girls, my relationship took about a year of back and forth to breakdown after he had an affair when my daughter was 12 weeks old, due to lack of communication I kicked him out thinking he would agree to councilling and some outside help... I didn't want to lose him as he was my second chance (first daughter from previous marriage) he said he wanted to try... But in the meantime has been on tinder, hooking up with multiple woman and then 2 days after my grandmother passed, on the day of my birthday he said it was completely over and he won't be coming home, didn't want councilling, there was no foundation to build on. And that was it. He left & didn't turn back.... I came home from being away over xmas and he was different, he asked to stay, he was affectionate, slept in my bed telling me how much he missed us all... And then all of a sudden snapped the next day, took my daughter and refused to give her back, (took 3 days to get her home) he threatened me with the courts and full custody, and this all came out of nowhere... I hit a wall... I completely emotionally lost my mind, saw my gp and he has told me I'm in the midst of a complete breakdown, I've been prescribed Valium, anti depressants, sleeping tablets and I have weekly appointments with him, I'm going to start seeing a councillor in the next few weeks but weight has plummeted to under 50kg (I'm 5'10) I've self harmed, had suicidal thoughts and I'm just not functioning... I'm broken, and can't stop crying. I have no family or friends here as I moved to a remote location for the ex partner, so now I have absolutely no-one, my only support is my mum who isn't mentally stable and has already told me she can't listen to my problems anymore, I'm at a total loss mums, the ex was here yesterday when I was upset, holding me, pretending to care, telling me he's here for me no matter what,
Today? I was told to shut up, don't contact him, and he doesn't care what I have to say... I'm at a total utter loss. I'm very alone and I'm not sure what to do.... I'm at the point where I'm scared.... Not for my children, but for myself, I have absolutely no one to talk to and get all of this out... Any suggestions please mums?
4 Replies
If you need to talk to someone ring Lifeline, never ring the ex he will just confuse you and make things worse.
But honey let me tell you, you don't need him, you never run out of chances and you never run out of men! One who is going to jerk you around like that isn't worth your tears.
You can start to feel better and you can do this as a single mum. But you have to start reaching out to the right people. Lifeline are awesome to speak to.
Oh honey if you need someone to talk to PM me! I've been there when it comes to depression. At the moment you need to just take 1 day at a time. Hell take it 1 hour at a time if you need to.. It's great that you have been to see your gp but please remember that it takes time for medication to work and not every medication is right for everybody. Be open with your gp about how it is affecting you and making you feel.
As for your ex you need to cut ties. I know that is very easy for me to say and much harder for you to act on. But hes obviously your trigger. I know it hurts but you need to stop turning to him for support because HE is the one hurting you. He's using and abusing you. It will take time but eventually you will look back and realise that you did the right thing getting rid of him.
If contact is necessary for the kids, keep a diary of all communication and plans. DON'T talk to him about anything else. Don't let him come inside your house.
Most importantly you need someone to talk to. The counsellor will be great. Never underestimate those in remote locations. I've lived rurally most of my life and you won't find better people. How old are your girls? Try the local playgroup or find out if there's any mothers groups. Kids are a great way to help get to know people. Your kids will be excited to go and even if you're not it will get you out of the house. Enjoy watching your girls smile and play x
Girl, he is fucking with your head. Stop it, stop thinking he is your friend, your second chance or your confidant. He is none of these. Now, don't call him, don't invite him over and if he turns up don't open the door. Take back your control, seek help from legal aid about custody matters rather than listening to him and his opinion. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep going.
Hello, Kelly here from The imperfect Mum team.
I'm setting up the questions, but have just posted yours as it seems urgent - and I hope the mums can help.
Biggest hugs! x
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