Almost 2 weeks ago i had a falling out with my MIL. She rang me at work whinging about something that happened in her life. I listened for aslong as i could then said to her iam at work ill call you later once iam finished. She didnt like this said some very hurtful things and hanged up. I was then upset stuck at work and nothing i could do about her peoblem. When i was driving home she rang me i thought she would have cooled off enough and was calling to apologies boy was i wrong she just called to have a further dig i ended up cutting her off and hung up. She is a widower my FIL death was very traumtic for the whole family. We usually go to visit her every sunday afternoon. My husband and myself work sunday morning then drive an hour with 3 kids to visit her. She doesnt like to cook so once their i usually have to go to the shops buy food for a house full of ppl and hubby and myself cook dinner. We usually drive home and get home at 8pm with dirty cranky tied kids struggle with all 3 to get washed and put in bed and then collapse in bed ourselves. We never never have time with just us as a family. Since this falling out we have been extremly busy working and honestly i havent made an effort to go see her. And honestly its been rather nice just spending time at home with our little family. She loves our children and they love her and i would never try and keep them from her. But i just feel so upset and angry at the way she spoke to me and the way she always treats me. Honestly the last thing i want to do on a sunday after working is cook a huge meal for upto 12 ppl and use my money to buy the food for everyone aswell.
Even tho iam angry at her i also feel guilty about not visiting or calling her. I know its going to get to a point and shes going to call me i just dont know what to say. We where really close but i get so annoyed she treats my husbands younger siblings like spoilt brats and buys them anything and everything they want. And then expects if she gets stuck for us to bail her out. Iam so over this whole situation. I cant remember the last time she came to our house. I know iam feeling anxious about what i will say to her when she calls. And feel guilty its been so nice not seeing her and spending time together with just our family. Should i cave and call her or just wait it out??
Might i add my husband tried not to get anyone upset and i know his enjoyed not driving all that way when we are already tied after work for a few weeks. As far as i know he hasnt spoken to her either.
3 Replies
Wait it out.
It was completely uncalled for. She should never have called you at work or afterwards unless to apologise. I have had huge issues with my MIL and sometimes it's best to give space.
Yep wait it out. You shouldn't seriously have to do all that work. If things do get back on track say you will only be visiting every fortnight or month. Ask the family to all pool some money to order takeaway when you go! Set s new standard, tell them when something is too much work. Also tell her your boss gets cranky with you taking personal calls at work so she can't call you at work anymore.
But I'd let her or hubby make the first moves in regards to mending bridges.
I can relate well sort of, i had a fall out with my inlaws, my mil verbally said to my partner that she disowns him (wasnt her first child she has said it to and was completely uncalled for), he finally seen what i had been dealing with the whole time we have been together, he has since forgiven her but i cant. Its been over 12 months since ive spoken to any of them and moved to a different state the only time my kids here from them is via skye to my partner. They make no effort with me and i make no effort with them. Its completely up to you what you choose to do, im happy with my choice but i never had a relationship with them to begin with.