After opinions. My children's dad and my ex partner is awaiting trial for double homicide that he says was self defence. It's been 12months and he doesn't want to see our 8 yr old daughter because he doesn't want it to change her opinion of him. (although she know's where he is and what he has done). He has seen his other 3 children who are teenagers but I wonder whether he should also see her. Concerned one day she may feel left out. She desperately wants to go visit him even though he's in prison. They have had a great relationship before this happened and use to regularly see him. He writes and calls regularly but she still wants to see him in person. Wondering if there's people who have taken their children to prison or have been to prison as a child and whether it was better or worse? Should she just not see him until she's a teenager? What if he never wants her to ever go see him there? Thanks (please no mean comment's still grieving)
2 Replies
You poor thing! Please don't feel alone in this as there are many people in the same position as you. In my personal experience (I don't have a family member in prison but I do have a very close friend) it really depends on what prison he is in. The maximum security prisons are very confronting for an adult let alone a child, but the minimum security prison are very family oriented. There are children everywhere seeing their dads/grandads and the kids don't blink an eyelid while there. If he feels that it might be to much for your young daughter I can understand why he doesn't want her leaving there knowing he has to stay there. I would speak to him and explain that she really wants to see him, and why is it that he doesn't want her there! He may have a really good reason, but if you think your daughter is going to be more upset not seeing him and she is tough enough to handle it, make sure you tell him this.
I work in a high security Gaol, children come in all the time to see loved ones and relatives. All care is taken by staff to ensure the process is as non intrusive as possible especially for children. There are sniffer dogs amongst other things, but as I said the staff are aware of the delicate situation involving children.
Just be aware that there will be child sex offenders, murderers and so on in the same room having visitations too. They are not alway separated from General prison population, and in most cases are mixing in the mainstream system.
Judge it entirely on ur daughter. And if she or urself are uncomfortable at anytime u can terminate the visit early.