Hi all,
Sorry for the long post I just want you all to actually know the story!
I fell pregnant and had my daughter at nearly 15 years old, the pregnancy came as a massive surprise, to me and to my family as you could imagine, I had an irregular cycle and would go up to 3 months inbetween periods so thought nothing of it when my period was 4 months 'late'. Anyway abortion wasn't an option and neither was adoption, so being that I was so young and really didn't want to be stuck with the responsibility I began to 'hate' the baby, I never took phrotos, I never tried to speak to her in there, i didn't look at ultrasounds, I did nothing to bond with that child I just hoped it would go away, I didn't bond with the baby inside me until around 7-8 months, I didn't have much time to do anything as I than had her two weeks early, so fast forward to now (almost 6 years later) me and my partner are trying to convince and the conversation of maternity photo shoots came up with my mum, she believes that since I didn't get any with my first I shouldn't get them done with the next as it would be unfair and she would feel left out.
Now I totally understand that she could possibly feel left out and see it as unfair and I really don't want to put my girl through that but I would really like to get maternity photos done with my next pregnancy because I regret not doing it with her as I have nothing to look back on (apart from obviously ultrasound images). So basically just want to know what you all think I guess.
and please no judgment!!
what should I do!?
what should I do!?
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt, Pregnancy
8 Replies
I would get them done, but get a few photos with your daughter as well. Like hugging the bump, kissing it etc, that way she's included. So much of your life has changed since back then and taking photos and sharing this with your daughter is a huge step for your mental well being. Maybe even make the maternity shoot a gender reveal or something as well? Let me set the scene; maybe you and your partner are shown gazing into each other's eyes in black and white and your daughter can be seen in the foreground smashing open a piñata that has confetti spill out of it in all shades of blue to make it "pop" in the photo
Get maternity photos! You can't go through another pregnancy 'matching' how you felt with the last pregnancy. That's ridiculous. I mean who could afford maternity photos when your 15 anyway???!
If your daughter asks where her photos are just say you would have loved to have had them done but you couldn't afford it. It's ok to bend the truth in those circumstances. Maybe tell her you'd like to have a special photo shoot just you and her now though. But seriously she probably won't even notice.
No no no! Don't miss this.opportunity! If you want it do it!
'sorry sweetheart I don't have the photos of the time you were in there, I wish I did!'
You can't and won't do everything exactly the same and equal, don't punish yourself.
I had beautiful birth photos done second time around, guess what, eldest is in them cuddling me & watching on, it's all of us and theyre very very special.
I never had maternity photos with my first two babies so when we fell pregnant with number 3 and our last i had them done. Iam glad i did it, do what you think is right
Get them done if you want. Pregnancies don't hadn't to be equal. You're older and wiser now and it may help you bond more with the bub. Maybe include your daughter. She could hug you and the bump, hold up a 20 weeks etc sign. Involve her in this one....that would be more special.
Get your daughter involved in the photos she would love that!!! They can be yours and hers to share!!
I didn't with my first because it took so long to be comfortable with the idea of being pregnant that by the time I was I had other things to worry about. With my 2nd I did because I looked back and realised I had all of 1 photo of me pregnant. I got miss 2 in the shoot and they are beautiful photos. It is definitely worth it and miss will love looking back at how she was part of it
Oh my goodness do it! I so regret not getting pictures done with all four of my pregnancies. I felt fat and gross and just didn't want to go there.
Like most people have already said include your daughter in the photos.
Congrats and best of luck.