Just a thought
Lately I have really been struggling with mixed messages from I.Ms on this page.
It is my understanding that this page is meant to empower and support parents and provides comfort to people that feel alone including myself.
The thing that I have found hard is the advice some separated parents receive when they ask a question for example one lady being told to just let her ex turn up whenever he wants and if says he is coming and doesn't just let it go, be grateful he is around at all! Another was the lady asking about the daughter visiting her father in jail being told it's not really your decision, just suck it up and take her.
I get that children are the most important people in a break up, but when did it become that the parent has to always put everybody else before themselves. This single parenting gig is so hard and if you are the main career and being told that your feelings don't matter at all can be heartbreaking.
We are mostly all doing the best we can
Just a thought
Just a thought
Posted in:
Life Lessons
4 Replies
I don't think you can ask questions on the internet and expect to be empowered or to only get the advice you want to hear. Sometimes other people have different expectations and life experiences and they are just pointing out how they handle their situation. I doubt many people here are qualified mediators/lawyers/counsellors but I know when I have put a question up, I would expect some answers that I don't want to hear. Don't be upset, just scroll past comments you feel are unsupportive. I guarantee there were some answers on there that made you/the lady feel better too, (or I hope they did) or that helped you/the lady see the situation differently. Sometimes just knowing a few people understand makes all the difference.
Its apart of the new society "give children everything"
I believe yes that children should be put first - but only if its not at the continued expense of the parents.
My mum often says " Its a family decision, and each parent counts as 2 votes, each child as one, and the main decisionary gets 3. Whichever gets the most votes wins!! "
Shrug off negative advice - everyone has a different opinion.
When you ask a question you are going to get a wide variety of answers and those answers are going to lean one way or another depending on who actually sees it, and who related to the question. When you ask a bunch of strangers a question it's a lottery of answers. You have to be prepared to take what's useful from it and ignore what's not.
I had a post on here a few weeks ago and was attacked so badly that I could not continue reading the comments to see if there was actually anything supportive or helpful in there. Needless to say I will never post again for myself. I was already feeling like shit and due to ppl not reading things properly I was made to feel like the worlds biggest c%^t.