Hi I was wondering..
Am I being silly?
Have I just created this within my own mind?
Iv been with my partner going on 6 years and I have a beautiful 3yo son with my partner. He also has a 10 year old daughter from a previous relationship as well and things at home between us all a fine.
My problem is his parents.
They seem to only favour my step daughter over my son and my partners nephews.
I grew up where love was shared equally between children and there were no favourites.
My partners parents have just split up and it's been messy and emotional for both sides but more so my partners mother so the favouritism has become worse.
It's come to the point where if we arrange to go visit her she makes a point to only be interested if my step daughter is coming with us. When she calls She only asks about my step daughter and nothing about my son. At Christmas time she jumped down my throat and asked me what my step daughter got from my partners father for Xmas but wen i went to mention what my son got she changed the subject.
Wen it comes to gift giving she showers my step daughter in heaps of things where my son is lucky enough to receive anything.
My partners brother has cut ties with her over the issue as she also fails to pay his children any attention compared to my step daughter (she has 4 grandchildren and 1 on the way)
One time my partners mother called me and asked if she could come visit to spend time with my son and me and I was all for it.. 5 mins later she called back and asked if my step daughter was going to be with us and when I said that she wasn't she stumbled over her words and said something has come up and it may be best to reschedule.
When I speak to my partner about it he shuts right off and almost gets angry about to subject. Not towards the issue but towards me for bringing it up, he thinks I'm being stupid and sometimes even swears at me telling me to F up.. He is so far in his mothers pocket it's not funny so it's nearly impossible to get him to grow some balls and speak up to his parents about the issue.
It's not just his mum though, his father is equally as guilty. For my sons first Xmas he didn't gift anything to my son but yet bought my step daughter a $800 iPad. He is always going above and beyond for my step daughter while my son and nephews are getting forgotten.
Am I being silly like my partner thinks? I'm not sure if my partners parents are spoiling my step daughter as a way of using her as a tug of war rope in their divorce or just don't look at the other children as important.
It's sad because due to the lack of effort towards my son my son doesn't even register who my partners mother is. He goes into full stranger danger mode if she so much as touches him.
My parents are so loving and supportive of both my son and my step daughter equally. They don't play favourites. Sadly they are both located on the other side of Aus so we can't see them regularly but each time they call they put the effort to ask about both children and if gifts are sent they send the same amount or value to both children and keep it fair.
I think it hurts so much because my family aren't here and I would love to compensate their physical presence with my partners family but they couldn't be less interested in my son so I'm sad that my son doesn't have the love of grandparents physically in front of him.
I don't want my son to suddenly question why sissy gets more love, presents or attention from my partners family because if that day comes I'm at a loss of what to say to him.
Thanks for your time ?
3 Replies
No you are not being silly it's all very weird and your husband is being a dick talking to you like that.
None of this is very healthy for his daughter.
My.mum does it to a smaller degree with gifts but daily things it's like the favourite is hers and it's a given they go together and others have to ask.
Funnily, she also favored the favored ones mum,
our youngest sister, we grew up knowing 'she loves us all' but it was just a given that the youngest gets special treatment.
I try hard not to put my daughter in the situation where she has to just accept that. It's so unhealthy to watch the interaction. My baby picks up on it, she even calls her 'anne's grandma' and asks me if anne's grandma is her grandma too. It's sad. They also, including spoilt sister, won't hear a bar of it. Its strange and cannot be healthy I don't.blame your bil one bit he must feel like you but it's his own parents doing it. You have every right to do the same.
Pack up your son and go. Your partners mother treats HIS son like this and when you mention it he tells YOU to fuck off? So do it, fuck off and raise your son to be happy and wanted and cherished.