I need some advice, I have 3 daughters and the oldest 2 are only 20 months apart they are now 20 and 18. The oldest has always been very moody and bossy, the 18 year has alway kept quiet to keep the peace as it wasn't worth the drama of standing up to her sister. The oldest has now decided she needs help to deal with her emotions and thinks she may be depressed so has started seeing a psychologist. I am really proud of her taking this step on her own. I can really noticed positive changes in her behaviour. But now her younger sister has decided to assert herself now sometimes about things that wouldn't have even bothered her in the past. I'm not sure if she now feels like she is able to speak up now but I also feel bad for the older one as she is doing her best to improve... Help please!!
2 Replies
TBH the younger one could probably do with someone to talk to as well. She may not have issues with her mental health but she has lived all her life with a sister who made it hard for her to express herself. She's likely felt she's had to push her feelings down often and felt like she's less important than her sister. She might need help in learning how to express this newly-found voice. She has every right to assert herself but as you say she might not be doing it fairly in light of her sister's changes.
Celebrate the younger one standing up for herself! This is good for both of them. Your youngest is learning not to be a doormat and your eldest needs to learn that as part of her therapy! It's all part of the process. And it's fantastic, don't be guilty of enabling your eldest and stifling your youngest in the process. Remember these are traits they will take with them to future relationships. Do you want her to be a doormat with her future partners???