Sorry in advance that this is so long. My friends needs help. She is the nicest person and would give the shirt off her back to help others. She helped me at my lowest after I lost my baby, she held my hand through it all and was there every step of the way.
The thing is my friend has had a really rough few years and she turned to drugs to cope with it all. I didnt realise how bad things had gotten (I moved away a few years ago) until recently. At times she has gone days without sleeping and eating on a drug binge, she is in deep and cant find her way out. Her friends and family have turned their backs. She has nobody to help or support her. She feels as though she has lost herself, she has tried to get clean but the drugs are so readily available and she has no fight in her left.
I want to help her, I can not and will not just turn my back on her, not after everything she has done to help me. I have suggested for her to come and stay with me a few days hoping that I can find the woman I use to know deep down under all her hurt. She wants out of it, she wants to be clean but she doesnt know how. How can I help my friend? How can I help her find herself?
please help me to help my friend
please help me to help my friend
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Mental Health
5 Replies
She needs to go to rehab. Be careful letting her into your house. You haven't said what drugs she's using but drugs change the person. They're not themselves. They will do things they wouldn't normally do. Things they'd be ashamed of. Steal. Sell your belongings. Lie straight to your face.
I've seen it.
Rehab isn't the answer though unless SHE wants it. Drug addicts have to hit rock bottom before they can come clean.
Find her a drug and alcohol counsellor asap... She may need a referral from a gp... Offering to have her stay is great of you, but be aware drugs do horrible things to people... She may be abusive, she may steal from you, she'll be sneaky as hell if she wants it... Get her to start at the gp, and if she finds a counsellor she doesn't like, get her to find another one... This is a hard thing to do, and you will both need support... Good on you for not walking away, she's lucky to have you as a friend xx
You can't have her come to your house. It will put her and you in danger. If she comes to your house she will need access to drugs and will HAVE to take them because if she doesn't take them she will have seizures and potentially DIE. So unless you are prepared to have her bring and take drugs while in your home that is a terrible idea. If she is going to get clean she will need to go to a detox unit and then to rehab. They are pretty easy to find and not hard to get into, but they won't take her unless she makes the phone call. Because unless they really want to get better nothing you do will help.
I know how hard it is to watch someone go through this and how much you really believe and want to help. It's also easy to look on in disgust at all the people who have abandoned her and gave up. I can promise you now, those people didn't just give up, they didn't run away at the first hurdle. They've been banging away trying to get her help, to see professionals and getting her to rehab and detox. They walk away not because they don't care, but because they have literally done everything, talked until they are blue, listened until there ears fell off, supported her financially and they are BURNT out, they've heard all the excuses and all the reasons for her not to get well and they have decided not to enable her excuses anymore.
First commenter here. Yup exactly. I've walked away from a drug addict.
My ex husband.
There is only so much you can do. He was taking me and our kids down with him. Best thing I ever did. 7 years later he's in rehab again...
To the OP. Don't let her in your house. Please don't.
My final straw was him checking himself out of detox after 24hours, taking himself off to try a new drug, overdosing, and then wanting me to help him buy more drugs because 'he'd had a bad day' UM HELLO
Although I'm sad for him not getting clean, there was not one thing more I could do for him that hadn't already been done by me and by others, and there was no I was going to sit around and hold his hand while he continued to kill himself!