So I know the Q gets asked a lot about wether or not to go one more when there is conflict between partners on this decision- I have 2 g8 kids - 5 year old girl and 2 year old boy, but I really want one more... just one more...!!
But hubby doesn't. Really doesn't. Has very much put foot down and being very firm on it.
The kicker with this sis that I have bipolar and whilst I cope really well most of the time, every 2 years or so we have a bad 3 months where I'm pretty unwell and can't function as good as I should or can normally. That said, I've never had to take a day off work or be in residential hospital etc - I just re look at meds and other supports and try to even out again. I know this isn;t ideal and it's hard on husbo - and this is his main reason for not wanting another one. I personally don;t want this "thing" that I mainly keep under control so well, to define me and the way my life will look (I always wanted 3 kids and feel like I'm being cheated out of my precious last one). Any thoughts? Particularly from other BP mums? Thanks guys.
Bipolar - To have another one??
Bipolar - To have another one??
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Health & Wellbeing
2 Replies
I don't have bipolar but do have other mental illness and am a carer of someone with a cyclical mental illness. Hubby is telling you he has enough on his plate and can't cope with more. He feels like if you have another bad patch it is all on him and it's a frightening place to be. Why would you want to add more weight on his shoulders??? Having one more when one person is saying they don't think they will cope is pretty unfair. So unless you can come up with a plan where he doesn't have to worry about you and three kids if you have another bad patch I think you have to accept his feelings and stick with two.
There are lots of reasons why people don't get as many kids as they would wish, money, medical etc but that doesn't 'define' there life.
I was in this position. Hubby and i have 1 son who is disabled. I barely coped with him when he was a baby (pre diagnosis) and didn't want anymore. Hubby wanted more and just didn't understand why I couldn't "just adapt". Be thankful that your hubby is comfortable enough to let you know when he has enough on his plate! Don't pressure him into anymore because i know what it's like to not be coping and to have a partner who is so not willing to understand and who continually puts their needs before yours even though they aren't the one having to deal with the situation for the most part (or in your hubbys case, having to cope alone for a month or two when you're out of action).