I have spent all day today in bed with suicidal thoughts. I am a single mum of 2 boys (who mean the world to me & bring me so much joy), but every time they are with their Dad (who has a perfect life now with a new partner) I fall into a heap and want to end my painful life. I am so, so lonely & only a few friends but not many. I wouldn't see them without my kids as they're other Mums.
I have no money so can't go away with my kids, while Dad is giving them luxurious holidays in his partners holiday house in a very affluent area on the Peninsula. My house is still a mess from Christmas but I can't find the motivation to tidy or clean. I am completely overwhelmed at how sh*t my life is..... I have been in bed all day, crying. I don't have what I would calla normal family and they try to help but it depresses me more. I just want a new life, something like the old life that I screwed up! How do I stop these suicidal thoughts?
4 Replies
Call lifeline NOW
As the parent of a little boy who lost his dad at age 2, don't do it... You may think they have everything they want when with their dad, but they don't have their mum... You are not replaceable! You need to see your gp today! Get up and clean your house, and write a list of things you want to do with your boys, then work towards them... Kids don't care how much money is spent on them, they care how much fun they've had... I don't know how old your boys are, but I'm sure there's age appropriate things to do with them for little money... You need to find your own self worth again, and you do have worth... Your ex didn't give you your worth, and he hasn't taken it away... It sounds like you're still grieving over the loss of your relationship/family, and that's ok... But please see your gp and get some help... Those boys NEED their mama, and they need her happy...
You have the most important thing those kiddies need, the arms and love of their mummy, seek some help and remember materialistic items don't mean anything p, love does
I can relate. It took me 6 months to find a job and when I found out she was underpaying me she fired me so I'm still broke af. I struggle to leave my bed most days, self harm and suicide run through my head every day, and my physical health is starting to match my mental health. I suffer headaches, migraines and stomach issues. I have 2 kids that I want to give the world but at the moment I'm struggling to even give my attention.... The 10 session care plan isn't enough and the psychiatrist and drug trials are too expensive for me. I don't know where to turn and can't get any more help because I'm not sick enough for affordable care and not rich enough to pay. Sorry to rant. I just know how it feels and I want us both to get better. Big big hugs to you xox