I'm in need of some serious advice ladies.
I find my mental health declining at such a rapid rate with the recent events.
To go back a little in my story, my sons father hasn't been a part of his life since he was 18 months old, he is now 7. There is a huge history of DV which was the ultimate reason for leaving.
Anyway - depending on who he has on his arm, will effect what he ultimately does contact wise with my son.
This new one seems like a piece of work.
Truth is; I don't care about his relationship status or what he is doing. If anything, he should be given a medal to have someone. What I care about is his complete dishonesty and attitude towards me.
Anyway; I am happily married and plan on having more children asap God willing. ( another huge stress on us)
My son does not have a relationship with his father. And no amount of being abused and being told it was my fault because I left, is going to change the fact that he hasn't made the effort.
Things have escalated recently and fast forward through the cr*p, we are heading towards mediation.
My concern; he lives super far away. I'm talking a plane ride away.
How is successful co parenting going to work? I am petrified enough at the idea of having to hand over my son for visitation with our history. If I could, I don't want a bar of it. But I'm not oblivious to our corrupt legal system. I just don't see how a parent can be absent for 5 years with little to no contact, and now flip a switch.
I need advice from mumma's who have gone through this. I feel so lost.
I was also made redundant from my full time job a week before Christmas too. So that has come as a huge blow on its own. It's something I'm really struggling to bounce back from.
So yeah. A million things going on and I feel like I'm on thin ice.
And I look at my son and cry now. I can't bare to send him away :(
Help :(
6 Replies
He's 7. Do you have to send him so far away or will the father come to you and stay in town to see him?
With him being as spiteful as he is - I don't know. I don't think so
With him being as spiteful as he is - I don't know. I don't think so
Seek legal advice asap. Being redundant u should be entitled to legal aid.
Given the domestic.violence history and the fact that your son does not.know him you should be able to get supervised visits only. Meaning he would have to come.down here to a contact service.
Seek legal advice. I currently have a parenting plan stating my ex can visit his kids (with notice as frequently as he pleases, withon reason) but it has to be near me as he does not have them over night and he can not take them out of the state (due to age etc and lack of relationship). Although a parenting plan through mediation is not legally binding its still legal evidence and can be upheld by police if he was to disappear with the kids (making it kidnapping).
I got my ex to agree to this by explaining that it isn't a forever thing and will be looked at in the future. Also the mediation person basically told him to grow up and its not just about him. They are there to help and if your ex wants to see him it will be a priority to cooperate.
Also you can do over the phone mediation! And all my stuff is with the help of legal aid, they were amazing! But I think they can obly represent one party so contact asap if you want that avenue