My daughter is 3 and her dad and i havent been a couple since she was 10 months old. we went back and forth a bit, then in the beginning of this year he started a relationship. the girl and he have been off and on several times and have recently gotten engaged just 3 weeks after their most recent break up. my daughter sees a lot of her dads partner, and yesterday he told me our daughter called his new partner mum. i asked that this be discouraged as i do when our daughter accidentally refers to any other men as dad. his girlfriends instagram has captions on photos of my child saying things like 'my baby girl' 'our little family' and she posts items relating to being a mother even though she has no kids of her own. Im feeling a bit uncomfortable about this sudden shift that she feels as though shes my daughters mother. has anyone else experienced this? what did you do?
4 Replies
I agree her posts are over the top, but all we can do is be grate full that she likes your kid.
I would just kindly explain how uncomfortable you feel about this. Not to mention that she is putting YOUR child on social media. That's a bit scary (but if you're comfortable with it, that's fine). There is nothing wrong with this as my partners baby Mumma felt the same way (bit of a different situation but still) but didn't approach me about it even when I didn't want to replace her but she never approached me and it got so bad on her half because she just didn't come and talk to me. We eventually did and she realised how silly it was to not just talk to me about it. We didn't do it face to face, so if you choose to text etc. there's nothing wrong with that.
However, if her or your ex take it the wrong way, it goes to show how immature they are.
The bright side is that she's not being horrible to your child but you have a right to feel you're relationship with your child is protected and not made absent when at her fathers.
I hate that drama sounds like she's embraced it too eagerly and fullon without actually growing a real connection. Same as her relationship too... I would hate it, and I would hate that my kids were being involved in that rubbish. I'd try my best not to see it or know about it and to Limit the amount she can publicise my kids.
Try to be thankful that your daughter has someone else in her life who loves her. I am a Mum & step-mum & my kids also have a step-mum. Our kids call their step parents Mum & Dad. We have never told the kids what they are to call the step-parent we have told them it's totally up to them what they refer to us as. You will never ever be replaced as your daughter mother. You will always be her Mum. Remember just because your child loves someone else it doesn't decrease the love she has for you. I have always tried not to make it about myself & rather about what's best for the kids. What do the kids feel comfortable with & what do they want to do. Imagine if this woman disliked your daughter...that would cause you much more pain than what you are feeling now. Yes it stings sometimes when my kids call their step-mum "mum" but I remind myself in those occasions how lucky my kids are to have her. She is great to my kids & I am very lucky they have her too!